Generation Terrorists » Forum
Sign up   |   Start new thread   |   Lost password?   |   Edit profile   |   Member List   |   myGT   |   Blog
Keyword
From
To
 

Got this one in my emal this morn. I like it.
ifihadahif Posted: Tue Feb 16 10:14:57 2010 Post | Quote in Reply  
  AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
Date: 2009-05-27, 1:43 a.m. E.S.T.
I was the guy wearing the blackBurberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!
I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].
After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]
I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb .... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.
Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.
The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).
In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours,
Alex
P.S.. Remember this motto ... An armed society makes for a more civil society!


 
Kira Posted: Tue Feb 16 14:45:08 2010 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I was with him until he vandalized the innocent third party's pink car. That was over the line.

I know, I know, LOL and all that.


 
kurohyou Posted: Tue Feb 16 22:18:36 2010 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I suppose you wouldn't be interested in the list of crimes committed after the initial mugging. Lets put it this way. The guy who demanded the wallet... would probably spend less time in jail.

For what it's worth...




 
Cherry_Moon Posted: Tue Feb 16 23:54:45 2010 Post | Quote in Reply  
  this is awesome :D and while i wouldn't have gone as insanely as far as this man did. I would have kept his wallet and shoes. Part of this seems like a total fake bogus post (it IS craigslist after all) but meh. I think if you are going to be an asshole then you are asking for karma to ten fold on your ass :D


 
addi Posted: Wed Feb 17 07:59:02 2010 Post | Quote in Reply  
  It's a guy's revenge dream, thought up right after watching a Steven Seagal movie.


 
ifihadahif Posted: Wed Feb 17 16:17:24 2010 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I certainly doubt that it's true, but I love it nonetheless.
As for the list of crimes committed after the initial mugging, I tend to think of them as justice.


 
kurohyou Posted: Thu Feb 18 02:12:37 2010 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:
>It's a guy's revenge dream, thought up right after watching a Steven Seagal movie.

Or Lawman. That show is horrendous.

I'm not even going to touch on the topic of justice. I don't have the attention span tonight. Going to settle in with an adult beverage and watch Crash, or maybe just crash. that works too...

For what it's worth


 
addi Posted: Thu Feb 18 06:47:28 2010 Post | Quote in Reply  
  kurohyou said:

>Or Lawman. That show is horrendous.

Happened to catch about 3 minutes of that show channel surfing last week. I'm still trying to get rid of the brain burn it caused.


 
mat_j Posted: Fri Feb 19 10:02:02 2010 Post | Quote in Reply  
  http://www.xkcd.com/661/

On an unrelated topic.


 
ifihadahif Posted: Fri Feb 19 17:10:20 2010 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:
>kurohyou said:
>
>>Or Lawman. That show is horrendous.
>
>Happened to catch about 3 minutes of that show channel surfing last week. I'm still trying to get rid of the brain burn it caused.
>
I did the same thing.
I think it may have damaged my TV.
It's way way way worse than any of his movies.


 
Aeon Posted: Tue Feb 23 00:58:02 2010 Post | Quote in Reply  
  It is obviously fake. It had me up until the calls to the D.A.'s office. I suppose it is a moral lesson supposed to teach to us just how important Conservative values are. Much like all other conservative lessons it's based on fantasy.


 



[ Reply to this thread ] [ Start new thread ]