A Life Too Ordinary
25 Feb 2003
A mind compressed by fear, stunned by the vastness of all it can and can
>There are cages of the mind we willingly lock ourselves into.
>Reason takes over every passion, lust, wanderlust, poetry, fantasy, hate
>The mind is a terrible thing. Like a tyrannical parent who loves you to
>death, but will not unlock your chains, will not give you your freedom,
>will dominate through weakness, will whisper your insecurities to you in
>the dead of night.
>Passion drains away, leaving a residue, thick, wet, slimy, and nothing can
>get it out. Every mouthful of life carries that bitter aftertaste forever.
>Fluorescent lighting, white naked glare above pigeonholes where beings
>afraid to live hunker down in fear, forgetting joy and lust and craving,
>and waiting only for the eternal clock to strike 530, the end of the work
>day. Scurry home to half-empty glasses, little ants. Hide away your stores
>for the winter; you never know when bad times may come.
>Stop living, it only makes it worse.
>Don't breathe, you might not get another lungful.
>Don't smile, you may lose yourself.
>Don't imagine freedom, you'll be cursed for ever.
>What is the logarithm of life?
>My soul is tired, I need a break. I must see green mountains and blue
>Escape is impossible. Expensive too. Dream webs are uprooted by the prickly
>dusters of practical reality.
>Each day I die, each day I am reborn, but with each rebirth, something of
>me breaks away, a little of the heart here, a little of the soul there.
>Insanity is so liberating.
Written at my office desk as I realized, during dictating a letter,just how lifeless my life is