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  • Verdure


  • A Life Too Ordinary


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  • Mindcage
    25 Feb 2003

    A mind compressed by fear, stunned by the vastness of all it can and can
    >never comprehend.
    >There are cages of the mind we willingly lock ourselves into.
    >Reason takes over every passion, lust, wanderlust, poetry, fantasy, hate
    >and love.
    >The mind is a terrible thing. Like a tyrannical parent who loves you to
    >death, but will not unlock your chains, will not give you your freedom,
    >will dominate through weakness, will whisper your insecurities to you in
    >the dead of night.
    >Passion drains away, leaving a residue, thick, wet, slimy, and nothing can
    >get it out. Every mouthful of life carries that bitter aftertaste forever.
    >Fluorescent lighting, white naked glare above pigeonholes where beings
    >afraid to live hunker down in fear, forgetting joy and lust and craving,
    >and waiting only for the eternal clock to strike 530, the end of the work
    >day. Scurry home to half-empty glasses, little ants. Hide away your stores
    >for the winter; you never know when bad times may come.
    >Stop living, it only makes it worse.
    >Don't breathe, you might not get another lungful.
    >Don't smile, you may lose yourself.
    >Don't imagine freedom, you'll be cursed for ever.
    >What is the logarithm of life?
    >My soul is tired, I need a break. I must see green mountains and blue
    >Escape is impossible. Expensive too. Dream webs are uprooted by the prickly
    >dusters of practical reality.
    >Each day I die, each day I am reborn, but with each rebirth, something of
    >me breaks away, a little of the heart here, a little of the soul there.
    >Tempus fugit.
    >Insanity is so liberating.

    Written at my office desk as I realized, during dictating a letter,just how lifeless my life is