5 Jul 2003
I light my cigarette and watch the ashes fall,
While the business men in their blue and grey suits
Spill vodka martinis on Italian leather shoes.
Sitting in the back of the bar, lost in a cloud of smoke,
Fading away alone in the corner booth,
Trying to find myself by losing what I've become.
People don't change in an instant,
No one dies overnight. Rather we waste away slowly,
While regret takes the place of our dreams.
Lost hopes, broken hearts, shattered lives.
Hollow people, shells of what they were,
Children, parents, lovers no more.
Drunk on cheap red wine, thinking of life
And the endless series of heartaches and pains.
Jealousy, bitterness, anger, all the bad,
None of the good. But then I stop and think of you,
And for a fleeting moment, I am happy.
Chasing dreams again, holding tight to what matters most.
I forgot when I wrote this, but it was a while ago.