In The Mirror
14 Sep 2003
Don't look away from me.
i can't look at myself right now.
you have to, even if your so ashamed you can't stand it, you have to face yourself in me, you have to look.
I'm afraid of what im going to see.
Your afraid you'll see a whore, a tramp, a little slut, in your mind the hook-ups make you uglier, not more beautiful.
i don't know what to do, I've always gotten in fast sexual relationships because in my head i thought that meant love, and forever.
Get out of the fairy tale, sex doesn't mean shit anymore, it just loses you what you have left.
I know i know but i can't stop, i keep thinking maybe they'll start loving me, even with this one.
whats different about this one?
He made it clear from the start that no matter what this isn't going anywhere, i'll never be his girl friend or his lover, just his fuck buddy, just a friend, im still worthless to him.
It doesn't sound like your worthless, just sounds like you two are having fun.
And we are, i just have to face myself in the mirror and realize that im in a sexual relationship with a boy who has the intention of leaving me unsatisfied and alone the second he finds a girl he can actually date.
Who's fault is that?
mine i guess, but his too, i won't take all the blame.
what are you going to do about it then?
Keep having fun i guess.
but you hurt, he hurts you, you hurt yourself.
But i like it
Not everything you like is good for you, you'll never be happy like this, it will only make the hole inside get bigger.
Oh well, im the one who has to look at myself every day, not you.
True, but i hate seeing you look back at me when you hate what your seeing.