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Metamorphosis
Eris
12 Sep 2003
I sit here in the bright light from my bedside lamp twirling a letter opener, shaped like a dagger in the steady firmness of my left hand and i contemplate the world nothing is how it seems to be I am a product of humanity little black plastic eyes stare at me unmoving rockstars look down on me from posters their eyes follow me Do they know something i do not? there are framed pictures set up like an altar on the bureau across from my bed i veiw them detached as though the memories they represent are not mine the girl who lives here loves them this room is cluttered a seperate dimension a safehaven to escape a killing world The girl who lives here is in pain The blinds are closed they shut out the world God what prisons the mind can hold All the eyes look out at me This girl is drowning in humanity Fight the world breathe your last walk outside your door Die a little each day forget what your told kill the world Snap out of it Wake Up I am alive Live It's dark outside God, how the time flies by when your writing writing what no one will ever read look through the clouds in the cold night sky and tell me what you see look at the moon shining up high does it make you happy? does it make you cry? the air bites into me and the stars they sing to me the night is a mystery run away from the cold cruel world. I see them all around me the ones who own the world i work for them Die in them and lock myself away look in the mirror who do you see? Are you one of them? or are you Broken like me? Is this really how it's supposed to be cause im falling farther from humanity Live in their world horror untold how much longer till the earth explodes? I love you when will we die I need you when is it enough Goodbye when does it stop Goodbye No, stay with me theres more to tell The girl who lives here wants to die its snowing outside the world is white and the cold sinks into me as i suffer in humanity and i see in the sky out there in the white a snowflake floating through the air i can feel it its mine so i catch it hold it close then it melts away an dim left here clasping memories that slowly drip away God teh world is a mistake i feel it in the fire the warmth of insanity it waits for me dwelling there after all it has an eternity Ive traveled near and far but theres so much left to see yet i wait here in my bedoom while everest grows away from me today the light bulbs flickered while i waited for the world to end i smiled its about time ive only been waiting for eternity einstein is calling me it seems ive stolen his coat the bulb it returns i look back into the dark how dreadful i had my hopes up i sit long in the dark and contemplate the world kiss a boy what do you feel? surprise the world break the mold shatter your sterile world can you love him? deep in your heart? do you even know what that means? will you stay with him? as your heart grows cold when will it be enough? The mirror is a trap what do you see? don't be blinded by humanity the knots tied tight don't let go now another angel falls down i can't keep going forward my world is stuck in the same old place im killing my osul in a make-believe world that day by day shrinks into me and crushes me inside i hate the person im becoming bu thteres nothing left to be oh god can it truly be that im nothing mroe than insanity given a form of its own? i feel i wanna break free now cast my mind to search for rust yet im chained here growing dimmer cemented in the growing dust take your mind back chain up your soul gaze around you the world is so cold its so full of hatred covered in death bathing in evil I wish i were dead! i'm lost in a darkness i did not create im drowning in anger god give me a break! the pain is building inside me cause theres nothing left to love the hate is too great Im blinded by pain im going insane in a world thats too fake So kill me destroy me cut deep into my skin dealing with a razor blade i can never win so screaming in the darkness of a world thats never cared i can't do a damn thing to make me feel okay god is pain the only way? am i fighting what is meant to be? the insanity is killing me never knowing why so many problems to deal with so much i have to see why can't i be blind and be ignorant and free? God open up your eyes beiw me in my pain take it all away grant me a reprieve the pain is just too great building one on one overwhelming me god the storm has gone and the tears they just won't fall locked up in my heart the reasons for my crime tearing me apart unwanted and unknown i can never be the person people see in me i will let you down kill myself inside shatter my reflection till my soul is gone god what did i do im driving them away i can't see through the fog i feel ive lost my way theres nothing to believe and no one who can see the demon growning inside me so take me in your arms make it go away cause im daying here love won't set you free kill yourself in me wash yourself away blood will set you free red is the only way so as i sit here in a skin that just can't belong to me think about my reasons and blame me not for them cause your world is killing me a little bit each day hurting me inside the pain will never die i can't run away guess ill have to stay n o matter where i try to run it won't go away so hold me in your arms take my breath away as i kill myself a lilttle more each day don't forget i warned you told you what i'd do remember that i loved you and that i turned to you hold my body close never let me go the tears will never fall but Alyssa She'll endure endure the pain that never ends closed fists through the fog dancing in the rain and as the harsh light of day sinks into my skin i know im gonna win cause this its my thing its my world and my pain my words my pen you haven't stopped it yet ill always remain i won't walk away be a shadow or a dream ive come to claim my peice of a world thats breaking anyway you threw the chains around my wrists locked teh guilt up in my heart you shut the lights gave me a knife and went on to live your perfect life but im skill here and now im free i can see with clarity my words are back and im dealing with the pain i broke those chains sent your knife away my blood is mine and it won't be spilled and the mirror isn't an empty void you got inside and thought you had me but im stronger because you grabbed me and now im strong adn i feel alive so i smile and hug and hate everything inside im almost the same its still my pain but i deal with it better every day you can't hurt me its ecstasy pure and unchanging clarity i see through love and fog of perfection hatred and anger give you no protection so now its like this i lock you in a cage made from your fears and built by my rage i overcome now do the same im still waiting ithrough the voices and the pain im still going im not afraid you can't hurt me can't kill me can't stop me wait now im sick of this lets switch now smile and laugh run around and get a life no worries no fears dancing in the storm arms spread to greet the wind sunshine and moonlight fuse in half light everlasting clarity shining in starlight endless blessed light brought together in open sky planets align with cosmic perfection its so hard to imagine its utterly amazing smile laugh frolick in the sun Child of the Moon You have Remade Yourself.
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