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Metamorphosis
Eris
12 Sep 2003
I sit here
in the bright light
from my bedside lamp
twirling a letter opener, shaped like a dagger
in the steady firmness of my left hand
and i contemplate the world
nothing is how it seems to be
I am a product of humanity
little black plastic eyes stare at me
unmoving rockstars look down on me from posters
their eyes follow me
Do they know something i do not?
there are framed pictures
set up like an altar on the bureau across from my bed
i veiw them detached
as though the memories they represent are not mine
the girl who lives here loves them
this room is cluttered
a seperate dimension
a safehaven to escape a killing world
The girl who lives here is in pain
The blinds are closed
they shut out the world
God what prisons the mind can hold
All the eyes look out at me
This girl is drowning in humanity
Fight the world
breathe your last
walk outside your door
Die a little each day
forget what your told
kill the world
Snap out of it
Wake Up
I am alive
Live
It's dark outside
God, how the time flies by when your writing
writing what no one will ever read
look through the clouds
in the cold night sky
and tell me what you see
look at the moon
shining up high
does it make you happy?
does it make you cry?
the air bites into me
and the stars
they sing to me
the night is a mystery
run away from the cold cruel world.
I see them
all around me
the ones who own the world
i work for them
Die in them
and lock myself away
look in the mirror
who do you see?
Are you one of them?
or are you Broken like me?
Is this really how it's supposed to be
cause im falling farther from humanity
Live in their world
horror untold
how much longer till the earth explodes?
I love you
when will we die
I need you
when is it enough
Goodbye
when does it stop
Goodbye
No, stay with me
theres more to tell
The girl who lives here wants to die
its snowing outside
the world is white
and the cold sinks into me
as i suffer in humanity
and i see in the sky
out there in the white
a snowflake
floating through the air
i can feel it
its mine
so i catch it
hold it close
then it melts away
an dim left here
clasping memories that slowly drip away
God teh world is a mistake
i feel it
in the fire
the warmth of insanity
it waits for me
dwelling there
after all
it has an eternity
Ive traveled
near and far
but theres so much left to see
yet i wait here
in my bedoom
while everest grows away from me
today the light bulbs flickered
while i waited for the world to end
i smiled
its about time
ive only been waiting for eternity
einstein is calling me
it seems ive stolen his coat
the bulb
it returns
i look back into the dark
how dreadful
i had my hopes up
i sit long in the dark
and contemplate the world
kiss a boy
what do you feel?
surprise the world
break the mold
shatter your sterile world
can you love him?
deep in your heart?
do you even know what that means?
will you stay with him?
as your heart grows cold
when will it be enough?
The mirror is a trap
what do you see?
don't be blinded by humanity
the knots tied tight
don't let go now
another angel falls down
i can't keep going forward
my world is stuck
in the same old place
im killing my osul
in a make-believe world
that day by day
shrinks into me
and crushes me inside
i hate the person im becoming
bu thteres nothing left to be
oh god can it truly be
that im nothing mroe than insanity
given a form of its own?
i feel i wanna break free now
cast my mind to search for rust
yet im chained here
growing dimmer
cemented in the growing dust
take your mind back
chain up your soul
gaze around you
the world is so cold
its so full of hatred
covered in death
bathing in evil
I wish i were dead!
i'm lost in a darkness
i did not create
im drowning in anger
god give me a break!
the pain is building inside me
cause theres nothing left to love
the hate is too great
Im blinded by pain
im going insane
in a world thats too fake
So kill me
destroy me
cut deep into my skin
dealing with a razor blade
i can never win
so screaming in the darkness
of a world thats never cared
i can't do a damn thing
to make me feel okay
god is pain the only way?
am i fighting what is meant to be?
the insanity is killing me
never knowing why
so many problems to deal with
so much i have to see
why can't i be blind and be
ignorant and free?
God open up your eyes
beiw me in my pain
take it all away
grant me a reprieve
the pain is just too great
building one on one
overwhelming me
god the storm has gone
and the tears they just won't fall
locked up in my heart
the reasons for my crime
tearing me apart
unwanted and unknown
i can never be
the person people see in me
i will let you down
kill myself inside
shatter my reflection
till my soul is gone
god what did i do
im driving them away
i can't see through the fog
i feel ive lost my way
theres nothing to believe
and no one who can see
the demon growning inside me
so take me in your arms
make it go away
cause im daying here
love won't set you free
kill yourself in me
wash yourself away
blood will set you free
red is the only way
so as i sit here in a skin
that just can't belong to me
think about my reasons
and blame me not for them
cause your world is killing me
a little bit each day
hurting me inside
the pain will never die
i can't run away
guess ill have to stay
n o matter where i try to run
it won't go away
so hold me in your arms
take my breath away
as i kill myself
a lilttle more each day
don't forget i warned you
told you what i'd do
remember that i loved you
and that i turned to you
hold my body close
never let me go
the tears will never fall
but Alyssa
She'll endure
endure the pain
that never ends
closed fists through the fog
dancing in the rain
and as the harsh light of day
sinks into my skin
i know im gonna win
cause this
its my thing
its my world
and my pain
my words
my pen
you haven't stopped it yet
ill always remain
i won't walk away
be a shadow
or a dream
ive come to claim my peice
of a world thats breaking anyway
you threw the chains around my wrists
locked teh guilt up in my heart
you shut the lights
gave me a knife
and went on to live your perfect life
but im skill here
and now im free
i can see with clarity
my words are back
and im dealing with the pain
i broke those chains
sent your knife away
my blood is mine
and it won't be spilled
and the mirror isn't an empty void
you got inside and thought you had me
but im stronger because you grabbed me
and now im strong
adn i feel alive
so i smile
and hug
and hate everything inside
im almost the same
its still my pain
but i deal with it better
every day
you can't hurt me
its ecstasy
pure and unchanging clarity
i see through love
and fog of perfection
hatred and anger
give you no protection
so now its like this
i lock you in a cage
made from your fears
and built by my rage
i overcome
now do the same
im still waiting
ithrough the voices and the pain
im still going
im not afraid
you can't hurt me
can't kill me
can't stop me
wait now
im sick of this
lets switch now
smile and laugh
run around and get a life
no worries
no fears
dancing in the storm
arms spread to greet the wind
sunshine and moonlight
fuse in half light
everlasting clarity
shining in starlight
endless blessed light
brought together in open sky
planets align
with cosmic perfection
its so hard to imagine
its utterly amazing
smile
laugh
frolick in the sun
Child of the Moon
You have Remade Yourself.
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