GT » myGT » Eris » Articles login | sign up


  • none


  • In The Mirror
  • Poetry
  • The World


  • none
  • Metamorphosis
    12 Sep 2003

    I sit here
    in the bright light
    from my bedside lamp
    twirling a letter opener, shaped like a dagger
    in the steady firmness of my left hand
    and i contemplate the world
    nothing is how it seems to be
    I am a product of humanity
    little black plastic eyes stare at me
    unmoving rockstars look down on me from posters
    their eyes follow me
    Do they know something i do not?
    there are framed pictures
    set up like an altar on the bureau across from my bed
    i veiw them detached
    as though the memories they represent are not mine
    the girl who lives here loves them
    this room is cluttered
    a seperate dimension
    a safehaven to escape a killing world
    The girl who lives here is in pain
    The blinds are closed
    they shut out the world
    God what prisons the mind can hold
    All the eyes look out at me
    This girl is drowning in humanity
    Fight the world
    breathe your last
    walk outside your door
    Die a little each day
    forget what your told
    kill the world
    Snap out of it
    Wake Up
    I am alive
    It's dark outside
    God, how the time flies by when your writing
    writing what no one will ever read
    look through the clouds
    in the cold night sky
    and tell me what you see
    look at the moon
    shining up high
    does it make you happy?
    does it make you cry?
    the air bites into me
    and the stars
    they sing to me
    the night is a mystery
    run away from the cold cruel world.
    I see them
    all around me
    the ones who own the world
    i work for them
    Die in them
    and lock myself away
    look in the mirror
    who do you see?
    Are you one of them?
    or are you Broken like me?
    Is this really how it's supposed to be
    cause im falling farther from humanity
    Live in their world
    horror untold
    how much longer till the earth explodes?
    I love you
    when will we die
    I need you
    when is it enough
    when does it stop
    No, stay with me
    theres more to tell
    The girl who lives here wants to die
    its snowing outside
    the world is white
    and the cold sinks into me
    as i suffer in humanity
    and i see in the sky
    out there in the white
    a snowflake
    floating through the air
    i can feel it
    its mine
    so i catch it
    hold it close
    then it melts away
    an dim left here
    clasping memories that slowly drip away
    God teh world is a mistake
    i feel it
    in the fire
    the warmth of insanity
    it waits for me
    dwelling there
    after all
    it has an eternity
    Ive traveled
    near and far
    but theres so much left to see
    yet i wait here
    in my bedoom
    while everest grows away from me
    today the light bulbs flickered
    while i waited for the world to end
    i smiled
    its about time
    ive only been waiting for eternity
    einstein is calling me
    it seems ive stolen his coat
    the bulb
    it returns
    i look back into the dark
    how dreadful
    i had my hopes up
    i sit long in the dark
    and contemplate the world
    kiss a boy
    what do you feel?
    surprise the world
    break the mold
    shatter your sterile world
    can you love him?
    deep in your heart?
    do you even know what that means?
    will you stay with him?
    as your heart grows cold
    when will it be enough?
    The mirror is a trap
    what do you see?
    don't be blinded by humanity
    the knots tied tight
    don't let go now
    another angel falls down
    i can't keep going forward
    my world is stuck
    in the same old place
    im killing my osul
    in a make-believe world
    that day by day
    shrinks into me
    and crushes me inside
    i hate the person im becoming
    bu thteres nothing left to be
    oh god can it truly be
    that im nothing mroe than insanity
    given a form of its own?
    i feel i wanna break free now
    cast my mind to search for rust
    yet im chained here
    growing dimmer
    cemented in the growing dust
    take your mind back
    chain up your soul
    gaze around you
    the world is so cold
    its so full of hatred
    covered in death
    bathing in evil
    I wish i were dead!
    i'm lost in a darkness
    i did not create
    im drowning in anger
    god give me a break!
    the pain is building inside me
    cause theres nothing left to love
    the hate is too great
    Im blinded by pain
    im going insane
    in a world thats too fake
    So kill me
    destroy me
    cut deep into my skin
    dealing with a razor blade
    i can never win
    so screaming in the darkness
    of a world thats never cared
    i can't do a damn thing
    to make me feel okay
    god is pain the only way?
    am i fighting what is meant to be?
    the insanity is killing me
    never knowing why
    so many problems to deal with
    so much i have to see
    why can't i be blind and be
    ignorant and free?
    God open up your eyes
    beiw me in my pain
    take it all away
    grant me a reprieve
    the pain is just too great
    building one on one
    overwhelming me
    god the storm has gone
    and the tears they just won't fall
    locked up in my heart
    the reasons for my crime
    tearing me apart
    unwanted and unknown
    i can never be
    the person people see in me
    i will let you down
    kill myself inside
    shatter my reflection
    till my soul is gone
    god what did i do
    im driving them away
    i can't see through the fog
    i feel ive lost my way
    theres nothing to believe
    and no one who can see
    the demon growning inside me
    so take me in your arms
    make it go away
    cause im daying here
    love won't set you free
    kill yourself in me
    wash yourself away
    blood will set you free
    red is the only way
    so as i sit here in a skin
    that just can't belong to me
    think about my reasons
    and blame me not for them
    cause your world is killing me
    a little bit each day
    hurting me inside
    the pain will never die
    i can't run away
    guess ill have to stay
    n o matter where i try to run
    it won't go away
    so hold me in your arms
    take my breath away
    as i kill myself
    a lilttle more each day
    don't forget i warned you
    told you what i'd do
    remember that i loved you
    and that i turned to you
    hold my body close
    never let me go
    the tears will never fall
    but Alyssa
    She'll endure
    endure the pain
    that never ends
    closed fists through the fog
    dancing in the rain
    and as the harsh light of day
    sinks into my skin
    i know im gonna win
    cause this
    its my thing
    its my world
    and my pain
    my words
    my pen
    you haven't stopped it yet
    ill always remain
    i won't walk away
    be a shadow
    or a dream
    ive come to claim my peice
    of a world thats breaking anyway
    you threw the chains around my wrists
    locked teh guilt up in my heart
    you shut the lights
    gave me a knife
    and went on to live your perfect life
    but im skill here
    and now im free
    i can see with clarity
    my words are back
    and im dealing with the pain
    i broke those chains
    sent your knife away
    my blood is mine
    and it won't be spilled
    and the mirror isn't an empty void
    you got inside and thought you had me
    but im stronger because you grabbed me
    and now im strong
    adn i feel alive
    so i smile
    and hug
    and hate everything inside
    im almost the same
    its still my pain
    but i deal with it better
    every day
    you can't hurt me
    its ecstasy
    pure and unchanging clarity
    i see through love
    and fog of perfection
    hatred and anger
    give you no protection
    so now its like this
    i lock you in a cage
    made from your fears
    and built by my rage
    i overcome
    now do the same
    im still waiting
    ithrough the voices and the pain
    im still going
    im not afraid
    you can't hurt me
    can't kill me
    can't stop me
    wait now
    im sick of this
    lets switch now
    smile and laugh
    run around and get a life
    no worries
    no fears
    dancing in the storm
    arms spread to greet the wind
    sunshine and moonlight
    fuse in half light
    everlasting clarity
    shining in starlight
    endless blessed light
    brought together in open sky
    planets align
    with cosmic perfection
    its so hard to imagine
    its utterly amazing
    frolick in the sun
    Child of the Moon
    You have Remade Yourself.