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  • A Modest Proposal

    24 Mar 2003

    I've lately found that indecent and domestic crimes have become far too common of a horror these days. It seems nearly every person that I meet, near to or around my own age, has been abused either physically, mentally, or even sexually, and those who have not been and have not still witnessed it, often times in their own homes, are few and far between.

    To prevent such atrocities in the future, I modestly propose a solution: all offenders who are convicted of indecent and domestic crimes (rape, indecent exposure, molestation, kidnapping, domestic abuse, etc) will be sentenced to castration (or hysterectomies, respectively) and to live out the remainder of their lives on a special "correctional institution" (a.k.a., space outlined with electric fence) which is located on one of the Falkland Islands.

    This solution would quite conveniently serve as a deterrent to future offenders. The threat of jail time today just doesn't seem to be getting the job done. As a matter of fact, it seems some prisoners have more luxuries than many working citizens do, such as cable television and the ability (and the time) to get an education. Which sounds more serious: a small room where the necessities of life are given to you? or living the rest of your life on a small, cold island where you have to fend for yourself?

    However, the location and climate are only half of the punishment. These prisoners are no longer able to live their lives with whomever they wish, but must suffer each other's company for the rest of their lives. This includes surviving off the land and being ripped away from friends and family not to mention that the prisoners will mostly likely take out their aggressions and abuse on each other, in lieu of innocent people.

    Also, since many criminals who commit these sorts of crimes are repeat offenders, having them locked up so far away and with no possibility of parole will prevent a good deal of crime. I believe this is what one might call "containment."

    This method of jailing may also prevent aggression and violence in two ways: they are no longer in our country to be an influence on others, and since the aforementioned prisoners are also sentenced to sterilization, they will not be able to pass on their behaviors through genes.

    Lastly, this "Indecent Island" as it may be called, could even earn our country money by being a reality TV show. By combining the outdoorsy, survival of the fittest nature of "Survivor" and the behaviors found on "Jerry Springer," this would surely be a hit. No longer will prisoners cost us money or be a burden, but now they can actually contribute to society!

    my AP english assignment due some time today ... we were on Swift's work and every year my teacher has her kids do a "modest proposal," an irrational solution to a very real problem ... though i don't think my solution is all *that* irrational .