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Envious of the blind
Alex Rehmar
20 Mar 2005
Far too often for a teenager, i sit and ponder the nature of death. I wonder, when I die, who will it effect? Will it effect anyone at all? What will happen to me? Will there be an afterlife, or an incomprehensible lack of existance and consciousness? It troubles me when it should be at the far back of my mind. My biggest fear in life is that I will not effect anyone, and will pass like the seasons, without any pomp or importance.
I envy people of religion and faith. They have something that they wholeheartedly believe in after they die. They are sure that they will spend eternity in an unimaginably perfect world. A paradise in which only good and happiness exist. The problem with this belief lies in the fact that in a perfect world where no one felt pain, and all things were beautiful and wonderful, nothing would actually be good. We would have no point of reference, no experience of anything "bad" to show us that what we were experiencing was "good". Without evil there can be no good and without good there can be no evil, as they are merely words for describing the absence of each other after having experienced the absent of the two.
Although it sounds thoroughly boring, to live in a world without any differentiating feelings, I sometimes wish that i could blindly believe in such pleasant ideologies. But it seems impossible to me that such things could possibly be true because i cannot make myself believe in the Christian God. No God could consciously send a man to hell. So no God can there be, which means the Christian heaven is but a pipe dream.
It also to me seems somewhat odd that there are so many interpretations of "god" and that none can compromise with others to reach a comfortable middle-ground, but must perpetually war over who is right. Who is "right" doesn't matter in the least bit, and entirely defeats the purpose of faith. Faith means that you believe in something, because you just do, and whether or not someone else shares that belief should not deterr you. Much less should one seek to alter the faith of another, for this is truly sacreligous. People have the right to believe anything that they desire, and whether or not it is "true" or "right" is based solely on whether they choose to think of it that way or not.
Hopefully I will have many more years to ponder these thoughts. Hopefully I will change my beliefs many times between now and then, and I hope i never figure it out until im dead.
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