Memories and Lies
11 Nov 2006
Memories are a fluid thing. They change as time goes by, usually to lessen a hurt or to embrace some new knowledge. Sometimes just to accept the world around, a memory needs to change.
When memories are of the times that we spent together, things we've done, pleasurable memories, changing those to fit the reality is a harder challenge. Knowing what I know now, I keep looking back and wondering why didn't I know?
How could I not know? It was there I suppose, but we were so close before, too close and the distance was at first welcomed, then hurt. And now it just hurts all the time, distance or not, because all those memories, the fun times, I can't be sure what's real and what's not. If you kept something from me that big, that important what else did you keep from me? And why in the first place, all I want is for you to be happy, nothing more and nothing less.
But the dishonesty just makes it hard to move on, to forget or forgive, because it casts a shadow over everything in the past. And the shadow it casts on the future is so dark, I can't see my way out...