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30 Apr 2005
i hate myself
i spend every waking moment trying to make someone love me, and i know they never well.
i think i have even fooled them into thinking they loves me.
but they never see the real me.
i hate the person i have become.
the person that has thrown anyway everything that is important to them to try and be the one i think they will love. the person who only now knows that it doesn't and won't ever work out, who can't let go because this pain is all they have left.
i have been alone now foryears and i have only been making it worse. i am so sorry that i keep putting you through this with me. i want it to stop, but the hurt is all i know and i am afraid to change.