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Crazy and Mad - Quotes

Writing is the only socially acceptable form of schizophrenia.

E. L. Doctorow

It is my ambition to say in ten sentences; what others say in a whole book.

Friedrich Nietzsche

As I was going up the stair
I met a man who wan't there
He wasn't there again today
Oh I wish he'd go away!

Hughes Mearns

To live alone one must be a beast or a god, says Aristotle. Leaving out the third case: one must be both - a philosopher.

Friedrich Nietzsche

Life... is like a box of chocolates. A cheap, thoughtless, perfunctoral gift that no one ever asks for. Unreturnable because all you get back is another box of chocolates. So, you're stuck with mostly undefinable whipped mint crap, mindlessly wolfed down when there's nothing else to eat while you're watching the game. Sure, once is a while you get a peanut butter cup or an English toffee but it's gone too fast and the taste is fleeting. In the end, you are left with nothing but broken bits filled with hardened jelly and teeth-shattering nuts, which, if you are desperate enough to eat, leaves nothing but an empty box of useless brown paper.

Cigarette-Smoking Man
The X-Files

We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institution of the universe.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I want to live my life so that my nights are full of regrets.


To obtain a man's opinion of you, make him mad.

Oliver Wendell Holmes

And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.

Friedrich Nietzsche

God does not play dice with the universe: He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players [i.e. everybody], to being involved in an obscure and complex variant of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.

Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
Good Omens

The Universe has an incredibly sadistic sense of humor. And I, for one, enjoy watching the poor fools who just don't get the joke.

Lynn Marshall

Dieu me pardonnera. C'est son métier.
[God will forgive me. It's his job.]

Heinrich Heine

True sanity is a complete freedom from chaos, and chaos is found in all aspects of life, therefore sanity is achieved only in death.

Sean Biglane

I like a person who grins when he fights.

Winston Churchill

Suicide is the biggest criticism life can receive.

If God is in the details, the Devil is in the assumptions.

I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out in a war fought with the atomic bomb. Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.

Albert Einstein

Down that path lies madness. On the other hand, the road to hell is paved with melting snowballs.

Larry Wall

I assume that to prevent illness in later life, you should never have been born at all.

George Bernard Shaw

I think most people are curious about what it would be like to be able to meet yourself - -it's eerie.

Christy Turlington

Truth? We search and search. Many have opinions that are laws unto themselves but in trying to impose those laws on others truth probably walked right by laughing or crying, unnoticed.

Roger Pielechaty

Sometimes the best reason to get out of bed in the morning is knowing that someday you will not have to get out of bed in the morning.

Alabama McLane
It's A Wonderful Life

I was never kinder to the old man than the whole week before I killed him.

Edgar Allen Poe
A Tell-Tale Heart

We all enter this world in the same way: naked, screaming, soaked in blood. But if you live your life right, that kind of thing doesn't have to stop there.

Dana Gould

I think that God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.

Oscar Wilde

Play a joke on your fear, Leo. Elude "helpers" who force you to need them. Ask a soul-deepening question you've never had enough courageous curiosity to imagine... Stand in a wide open space and pray for a slow-motion volcano in your heart... Go wash some water.

Real Astrology

Hell, there are no rules here - we're trying to accomplish something.

Thomas A. Edison

If it isn't broken, let's take it apart and see why not.

Boys are made to squirt and girls are made to lay eggs. And if the truth be known, boys don't very much care what they squirt into.

Gore Vidal

Think how utterly, evilly selfish it is to have a child. Think of it! "Oh, honey, wouldn't a baby just be splendid? With its little hands, and its little feet and its little arms and legs and face and smile. Oh, we have to have one." Great, and once it's done, here is another little human to have to grow and learn what a sick collection of animals it is into which he's been born; who has to learn the pointlessness of the asinine cycle of human life; the pain and unhappiness that accompany; the stupidity of the majority; the outrage of old age and death; the unfair circumstances of competition amongst organisms; the injustice of suffering, the absurdity of doctrines and ideologies; the cold blade of war; the inner demons of hunger, desire, self-loathing; who will be taught to hate and feel shame and fear and remorse, regret, guilt; who will one day suck from nonexistence another little conscious body to continue the hideous lineage of incessant dark-humor; and who will one day die, wrapped in a urine-stained, hospital-issued death-shroud, plugged into beeping, blipping machines, fed through dripping bags armed with needles and at the mercy of smart-ass little nurses, who know not yet that they, too, will be faced with this end. What more horrific and vile an act than that of having a child? There can be none. Torture is not worse, murder is not worse, nor rape or anything else, because it is birth that precludes them all. Were it not for birth, none of these other atrocities would have even a chance to be performed. It is the miracle of birth and life that drowns the light of the world, and it is that selfish obeyance of desire that is hung over the heads of all parents in the look of disgust on their disaffected teenager's face. How can one repay an infinite offense?

Shane Smith

It really comes down to parsimony, economy of explanation. It is possible that your car engine is driven by psychokinetic energy, but if it looks like a petrol engine, smells like a petrol engine and performs exactly as well as a petrol engine, the sensible working hypothesis is that it is a petrol engine.

Richard Dawkins

I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: "O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous." And God granted it.


By means of shrewd lies, unremittingly repeated, it is possible to make people believe that heaven is hell -- and hell heaven. The greater the lie, the more readily it will be believed.

Adolf Hitler

It's an incredible con job when you think of it, to believe something now in exchange for life after death. Even corporations with all their reward systems don't try to make it posthumous.

Gloria Steinem

Man is the only animal that contemplates death, and also the only animal that shows any sign of doubt of its finality.

William Ernest Hocking

Today I broke my record for consecutive days I've been alive.

Then I saw a sign which said 'Drink Canada Dry' - so we started.

Brendan Behan

I am woman, but I bet I have more balls than you, seeing as how I have your balls in a jar on a shelf in my room.

Holly Waddell

When you think you're free, remember you're just who they want you to be.

Jehn Wood

Why shouldn't things be largely absurd, futile, and transitory? They are so, and we are so, and they and we go very well together.

George Santayana

I'm mad, you're mad, we're all mad here, it's the fad for many a year, if you think we're crazy my dear, you're right cause I'M mad, YOU'RE mad, we're ALL mad here!

Alice in Wonderland

The aim of psychoanalysis is to relieve people of their neurotic unhappiness so that they can be normally unhappy.

Sigmund Freud

Once you see that everything is unreal, you can't see why you should bother to prove it.

E. M. Cioran

No one ever recovers from the disease of being born, a deadly wound if there ever was one.

E. M. Cioran

By all evidence we are in the world to do nothing; but instead of nonchalantly promenading our own corruption, we exude our sweat and grow winded upon the fetid air.

E. M. Cioran

What makes a fellow... want to ignore the mores of his time -- to go around tossing dead cats through stained glass windows, saying "everyone is crazy, and here's why"? It is called the pursuit of happiness.

John Patrick Michael Murphy

There are many who dare not kill themselves for fear of what the neighbours will say.

Cyril Connoly

Vocatus atque non vocatus deus aderit: bidden or not bidden, God is present.

Carl Jung

Laughing on the way to your execution is not generally understood by less-advanced life forms, and they call you crazy.

Richard Bach

He who desires solitude is either an animal or a god.

Francis bacon