AND RAMBUNCTIOUS RUMINATIONS
FOR ALL WALKS OF LIFE...
|No List is Complete Without Some Sexually Oriented Stuff|
Fortis' Three Great Life in Life:
King Solomon's Law for 500th Wife:
It's going to be plenty soft for you.
Johnny Carson's Observation on Geriatrics:
Sex in the sities is great, but it improves if you pull over to the side of the road.
Dr. Stolf's Three Great Happinesses of Life:
Grandma Soderquist's Observation:
More farm families got their start in the hayloft than ever did in the farmhouse.
The Single Club Law:
If computer dating fails, just trust to lust.
Better to have flunked your Wasserman, than never to have loved at all.
The New-Product Syndrome:
The longer you sleep with your dream girl, the harder it it to kiss her good-by.
The Shrink's Assessment:
There's no point in worrying about apathy when you can't care less.
Bula's Basic Belief:
"Love for Sale" may not be a bad song title, but in commerce, it would constitute a misrepresentation of service.
Sex is only dirty - if it's done right.
A dirty book is seldom dusty.
Westlake's Sage Remark:
Love is never having to say how much.
Sin now - pray later.
If a man writes a better book, preaches a better sermon, or beds a better whore than his neighbour, though he builds his domicile deep in the woods, the world will beat a path to his door to find out who the better whore was.
Love and marriage go together like a horse and carriage, so the sooner we get these obsolete forms of transport back, the better.
The Birth-Control Law:
If a birth control device is going to fail, it will do so on the thirteenth or fourteenth day between two given periods.
Both business and love require the temperament of a vampire conbines with the discretion of an anemone.
The Nudist Colony Rule:
Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.
Never let your sense of morals interfere with doing the right thing.
Virginity can be cured.
An Italian Proverb:
She who is silent consents.
A bachelor can only chase a girl until she catches him.
The "Just Say No" Law:
Don't be a girl who gives long explanations as to why she "doesn't" - or before you're done explaining, you'll wind up one the "does."
Sex is a misdemeanor - the more you miss, da' meaner you get.
Love is a matter of chemistry; sex is a matter of physics.
You cannot tell how deep a puddle is until you step in it.
Barlow's Nature Thoughts:
The genuineness of a couple's affection for each other is inversely proportional to the cuteness of their pet names for each other.
Van Roy's Postulate:
Love is like a pair of socks - you have to have two, and they gotta match.
The trouble with resisting temptation is it may never come again.