AND RAMBUNCTIOUS RUMINATIONS
FOR ALL WALKS OF LIFE...
|Some SteppingStones for Backpackers, Students of Life, and Agronomists|
Life is what happens to you while you're making other plans.
The Law of Inverse Appreciation:
The less there is between you and the environment, the more you appreciate the environment.
Due to a lack of trained trumpeters, the end of the world has been postponed indefinitely.
Climate is what you expect. Weather is what you get.
Thomaseen's Adam-and-Eve Truism:
The human race was not really created - it is solely a fig leaf of our imagination.
Never believe that a package of pitted dates has no pits.
Barber's Laws of Backpacking:
Man has less tenacity than crab grass.
Natural laws have no pity.
Charles Beard's Summarizations of History:
There are no absolute answers to life - just revelations.
The Law of Archaeological Analysis:
One stone is a stone; two stones are a feature; three stones are a wall.
Bruce's Cogent Comments:
Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
The Weather-Report Rule:
Bad weather reports are more often right than good ones.
A path without obstacles probably leads nowhere.
The First Law of Bicycling:
No matter which way you ride, it's up hill and against the wind.
The First Law of Canoeing:
No matter which direction you start, it's always against the wind coming back.
The Land-Use Principle of Conservation:
Thou shalt not rape the land, for that shall be known as "Sodomy."
All conversations with a potato should be conducted in private.
Bradshaw's Further Adventures in Backpacking:
A bird in the hand betokens mutual trust.
Grandma Soderquist's Conclusion:
A chicken doesn't stop scratching just because the worms are scarce.
Faith is the bird that sings while it is still dark.
The "Stay Cool" Rule:
You cannot sink someone else's end of the boat and still keep your own afloat.
Hill's Hard-and-Fast Rules of Survival:
A fool in a high station is like a man on the top of a high mountain: everything appears small to him and he appears small to everybody.
It's always darkest before it's pitch black.
The Skier's Rumination:
Don't ever eat yellow snow.
Graebner's Sage Comment:
If you eat beans when camping, leave your sleeping bag unzipped.
Merill's Second Corollary:
In the highway of life, the average happening is of about as much true significance as a dead skunk in the middle of the road.
God didn't create the world in seven days, He screwed around for six and pulled an all-nighter.
Beginning rock hounds take everything for granite.
Grandma Sonderquist's Riposte:
The worms start multiplying when the chickens stop scratching.
Sir Edmund Hillary's Conclusion:
Mountain climbers always help each other.
John Bear's Observations:
The Poverty Principle:
Money is like manure - it is meant to be spread around.
Call's Law of Frustration:
The measure of a bird dog's intelligence can be determined by the length of time it takes to resign yourself to his way of thinking.
Call's Law of Negative Results:
The distance from a flushed covey is directly proportional to the number of fellow hunters you and your dog are trying to impress.
Man who slings mud, loses ground.
A bird in the hand - may pee.
Mark Twain's Observation:
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
The Home Gardener's Law:
A green thumb is a lot of manure.
Van Roy's Laws:
The worm in the sour apple doesn't know any better.
Mark Twain's thought:
Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.
If self-preservation is the first of law of life, exploitation is the second.
Dr. Finklestein's Rules on Camping:
Hugo's Rules of Life:
Joe's Sage Thoughts: