AND RAMBUNCTIOUS RUMINATIONS
FOR ALL WALKS OF LIFE...
|Quotes for Offices, No Matter What The Business|
The "Make Your Own Breaks" Credo:
Success is a matter of luck; just ask any failure.
Never characterize the importance of a statement in advance.
It won't work.
Negative slack tends to increase.
A little money is good, but large sums foul the works.
Coincidence is common; it may be the rule.
The Savings-and-Loan Law:
Save your money-someday it may be worth something.
The "Oh, Forget It" Law:
The best way to forget your own problems is to help someone else with titers.
It requires a very unusual mind to make an analysis of the obvious.
The world gets better every day-then worse again in the evening.
We speak of unemployment as though work were a four-letter word.
The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.
A cluttered desk = a man of genius.
Satisfaction is, in itself, success.
The Gossage Rule on Copywriting:
Plagiarize, plagiarize, but call it research.
A fool and his guilt are soon parted.
Captain Jack's Viewpoint:
If you are good, you'll be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you'll get out of doing it.
If credit can possibly go to someone else, it will.
Observations of a Philosopher:
Spark's Law of Irrepressible Use:
If a person has something, they feel compelled to use it even though its use is unnecessary. Examples: The child who gets a hammer uses it. The person who gets authority will overexercise it.
Robert Frost's Observation:
A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it starts to rain.
Simenon's Profound Postulate:
All proverbs contradict each other.
Van Roy's Rumination:
Fools rush in where fools have been before.
MacKenzie's First Law:
If it's not on paper, it doesn't exist.
The Ultimate Wisdom:
The only alternative to perseverance is failure.
You only think it is possible to exceed the limits of possibility.
It's always much harder to find a job than to keep one.
Lord Falkland's Rule:
When it is not necessary to make a decision, it is necessary not to make a decision.
Creativity varies inversely with the number of cooks involved with the broth.
It's better to be lucky than smart.
John Newbern's Law:
People can be divided into three groups: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who wonder what happened.
Horner's Five-Thumb Postulate:
Experience varies directly with equipment ruined.
Bukota's Typographical Truths:
The obscure we see eventually; the completely apparent takes longer.
Dr. Boyson's Rule:
When policy fails, try thinking.
Don't ever confuse motion with progress.
Only the stupid, the hurried, and the strong close a reference book upon satisfactory completion of the original search.
The only one who got everything done by Friday was Robinson Crusoe.
An Advertising Axiom:
Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell, and advertise.
Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.
The Transcription Law:
The number of errors made is equal to the number of squares employed.
Field's First Law of Success:
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
Zymurgy's Law on the Availability of Volunteer Labor:
People are always available for work in the past tense.
Zymurgy's First Law of Evolving-System Dynamics:
Once you open a can of worms, the only way to recan them is to use a longer can.
When all is said and done, there's more said than done.
There's never time to do it right, but always time to do it over.
Gianni's CPA Rule:
An assumption is the first step toward a screw-up.
Davidson's Law of Inquiry:
People ask stupid questions for a reason.
Robbin's Rules of Marketing:
White's Observations of Committee Operation:
Good judgment comes from experience; experience comes from bad judgment.
Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.
Rahilly's Rule for Secretarial Efficiency:
Work smarder and not harder and be careful or yor spelling.
Stovall's Law of Negative Inaction:
The only thing wrong with doing nothing is that you never know when you're finished.
He who attacks must vanquish; he who defends must merely survive.
There is no safety in numbers, or anything else.
If it looks easy, it's tough. If it looks tough, it's damn near impossible.
Trivial matters are handled promptly; important matters are never solved.
There's nothing more frightening than ignorance in action.
If you want to get along, go along.
An optimist is a guy that has never had much experience
Luck is the chief factor behind the other fellow's success.
Bittel's Theory of Mass Dynamics:
I'd be a pessimist, but it wouldn't work anyway.
The Law of Thumb:
Somebody who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.
If at first you don't succeed - find someone who knows what he's doing.
Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the action that will occur is the one which will liberate the greatest amount of hot air.
Ray's Rueful Rumination:
The world is full of surprises, very few of which are pleasant.
Law of Selective Advancement:
The man who knows "how" will always have a job. The man who knows "why" will always be his boss.
Cannon's Cogent Comment:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
A Traveling Man's First Law:
Nothing vouchered, nothing gained.
Captain Risser's Law:
If it's in stock, we have it.
If you come up with a lemon, make lemonade.
Some say PUSH is the secret of success, others say PULL.
No one can be unhappy while eating a bagel.
One is tolerant only of that which does not concern him.
The Law of Superiority:
The first example of a superior principle is always inferior to the developed example of a inferior principle.
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.
Be sure the brain is engaged before putting the mouth in gear.
The difference between smart people and dumb people isn't that smart people don't make mistakes. They just don't keep making the same mistake over and over again.
Jack and Eric's Law:
All work and no play means you make money hand over fist.
Comb's Truths of Management:
Letters beginning "Dear Sir" will always be opened by a woman, usually an officer in the Women's Lib movement.
Cundall's Typing Theory:
The amount of typing which comes due on any one day in an office is in direct correlation to the absentee record of the office typist.
Cundall's Advertising Agency Rule:
Advertising agencies which win major national promotion awards invariably lose the account immediately thereafter.
Thoughts for the Day: