Quotes [new quotes]
Kill Bill - Vol. 2
(Ripped from draft - quotes vary from the actual movie.)
THE BRIDE: Looked dead, didn't I? But I wasn't. But it wasn't from lack of trying, I can tell you that. Actually, Bill's last bullet put me in a coma - A coma I was to lie in for four years. When I woke up, I went on what the movie advertisements refer to as a 'roaring rampage of revenge.' I roared. And I rampaged. And I got bloody satisfaction. I've killed a hell of a lot of people to get to this point, but I have only one more. The last one. The one I'm driving to right now. The only one left. And when I arrive at my destination, I am gonna kill Bill.
BUDD: You tryin to tell me she cut her way through eighty-eight bodyguards 'fore she got to O-Ren?
BILL: No. There wasn't really eighty eight of them, they just called themselves The Crazy 88.
BILL: I dunno, I guess they thought it sounded cool. Anyhow, she had about 26 or 27 around her when (BLEEP) attacked. They all fell under her Hanzo sword.
BUDD: She got 'er a Hattori Hanzo sword?
BILL: She has a Hanzo Jingi sword.
BUDD: He made her one? Didn't he swear a blood oath never to make another sword?
BILL: It would appear he's broken it.
BUDD: Them Japs know how to carry a grudge don't they? Or is it just you tend to bring that out in people?
BILL: I know this is a ridiculous question before I ask, but you by any chance haven't kept up with your swordplay?
BUDD: Hell, I pawned that years ago.
BILL: You pawned a Hattori Hanzo sword?
BILL: It was priceless.
BUDD: Not in El Paso it ain't. In El Pso I got me 250 Dollars for it.
BILL: Since it was a gift from me, why didn't you offer me the chance to buy it back?
BUDD: Because that would've required me to acknowledge your existence. Drunken bum though I may be, I don't need booze that bad. But who the hell gives a crap anyway. That bitch ain't gittin no Bushido points for killin a white trash piece of shit like me with a samurai sword. I'm a bouncer in a titty bar, Bill. If she wants to fight me, all she gotta do is come down to the Club, start some shit, and we'll be in a a fight.
BILL: -- Budd, you need to listen to me. I know we haven't spoken for quite some time, and the last time we spoke wasn't the most pleasant. But you need to get over being mad at me, and start becoming afraid of Bea. Because she is coming, and she's coming to kill you. And unless you accept my assistance, I have no doubt she will succeed.
BILL: Can't we forget the past, and look at the happy side of all this?
BUDD: And what would that happy side be?
BILL: She's brought "the boys" back together.
BUDD: I appreciate the concern on your face, but there's a difference 'tween "the boys", time can't erase. I don't dodge guilt. And I don't Jew outta payin my comeuppance. That woman deserves her revenge. And we deserve to die. But then again, so does she. So I guess we'll just see now, won't we.
BUDD: Wrong brother, you hateful bitch.
ELLE: And what do I owe this dubious pleasure?
BUDD: I just caught me the cowgirl, ain't never been caught.
ELLE: Do you mean what I think you mean?
BUDD: If you think I mean I got 'er, you thought right.
ELLE: Did you kill her?
BUDD: Not yet I ain't. But I can sure do it easy enough. She's so gentle right now, I could preform her coup de grace with a rock.
ELLE: What are you waiting for, run outta liquid courage.
BUDD: No. It's just...I ain't killed nobody in a long Goddamn time. And just 'tween you, me, and Jesus Christ, kinda made me a promise I wasn't gonna. Be that however it is. Back when I did kill people...I got paid for it. Just don't seem right...turn amateur this time of life.
BUDD: Anywho, guess what I'm holdin in my hand right now. A brand spankin new Hattori Hanzo sword. And I'm here to tell ya Elle, that's what I call sharp.
ELLE: How much?
BUDD: Oh, that's hard to say. Seein it's priceless and all.
ELLE: I'll give you a hundred thousand dollars for it.
BUDD: I'm sure you would. But I'll take, one million.
ELLE: Jeez Budd, who'd ever guess you were such a capitalist. I thought drunks like yourself were beyond such monetary concerns?
BUDD: Well Elle, a million dollars buys a whole lotta Jack.
ELLE: Why then are you selling it to a hateful bitch like me, when you know Bill would pay more?
BUDD: If I'm gonna drink myself to death, ...it won't be on Bill's dollar. It's gonna be on yours.
ELLE: What's the terms?
BUDD: You buy a ticket to Texas, and I'll see you here tomorrow mornin. You give me a million in foldin cash, I'll give you the greatest sword ever made by a man. How's that sound?
ELLE: Sounds like we got a deal. One condition.
ELLE: You kill her tonight. And one more thing.
BUDD: You said one condition.
ELLE: It's a caveat to the same condition.
ELLE: She must suffer to her last breath.
BUDD: That Elle darlin, I can pretty damwell guarantee.
ELLE: Then I'll see you in the morning millionaire.
BUDD: Looky here bitch, this is a can of mace. Now you're goin underground tonight, and that's all there is to it. But, when I bury ya, I was gonna bury you with this. But if you're gonna act like a horse's ass, I'll spray this whole Goddamn can in your eyeballs. Then you'll be blind, burnin, and buried alive. So what's it gonna be sister?
BILL: Once upon a time in China, some believe around the year, one-double knot-three. ...head priest of The White Lotus Clan, Pai Mei, was walking down the road, contemplating whatever a man with Pai Mei's infinite power would contemplate -- Which is another way of saying, who knows. When, a Shaolin monk appeared on the road traveling in the opposite direction. As the monk and the priest crossed paths...Pai Mei -- in a practically unfathomable display of generosity, gave the monk the slightest of nods. The nod, was not returned. Was it the intention of the Shaolin monk to insult Pai Mei? Or, did he just fail to see the generous social gesture? The motives of the monk, remain, unknown. What is known, were the consequences. The next morning Pai Mei appeared at the Shaolin Temple, and demanded that the temple's head Abbot offer Pai Mei his neck, to repay the insult. The Abbot, at first, tried to console Pai Mei, only to find, Pai Mei was inconsolable. So began, the massacre of the Shaolin Temple, and all sixty of the monks inside, at the fists of the White Lotus. And so began, the legend of Pai Mei's Five-Point Palm - Exploding Heart Technique.
THE BRIDE: What praytell, is a five-point palm - exploding heart technique?
BILL: Quite simply, the deadliest blow in all of the martial arts. He hits you with his fingertips, at ten different pressure points on your body. And then, he lets you walk away. But once you've taken five steps, your heart explodes inside your body, and you fall to the floor dead.
THE BRIDE: Did he teach you that?
BILL: No. He teaches no one the five-point palm - exploding heart technique. But he is Nietzsche's psalm personified. If Pai Mei doesn't kill you, he will make you stronger. Now one of the things I always liked about you, Kiddo, is you appear wise beyond your years. Then allow me to impart, a word to the wise. Whatever - WHAT - EVER - Pai Mei says, Obey. If you flash him - even for an instant - a defiant eye, he'll pluck it out. And if you throw any American sass his way, he will snap your back and your neck like they were twigs, and that will be the story of you.
BILL: He'll accept you as his student.
THE BRIDE: Caught him in a good mood, aye?
BILL: More like a sadistic one. Just seeing those steps again makes me ache. You're gonna have plenty of fun carrying buckets of water up and down that fucker.
THE BRIDE: Why did he accept me?
BILL: Because he's a very very very old man. And like all rotten bastards, when they get old, they become lonely. Not that that has any effect on their disposition. But they do learn the value of company.
THE BRIDE: When will I see you again?
BILL: That's the title of my favorite soul song of the Seventies.
THE BRIDE: What?
BILL: Nothing. When he tells me you're done.
THE BRIDE: When do you think that might be?
BILL: That my dearest, all depends on you. Now remember, no backtalk, no sarcasm. Least not for the first year. You're going to have to let him warm up for you. He hates Caucasians, despises Americans, and has nothing but contempt for women, so in your case, that may take a little while. Adios.
THE BRIDE: Teacher, I am unworthy to be your student --
PAI MEI: Your Mandarin is lousy. I can't understand a single word you say. It causes my ears discomfort. You are not to speak unless spoken to. Do you understand Mandarin any better than you speak it?
THE BRIDE: I speak Japanese very well --
PAI MEI: I didn't ask if you speak Japanese, or Mongolian, for that matter. I asked if you understand Mandarin?
THE BRIDE: A little, I am still learning.
PAI MEI: You are here to learn the mysteries of Kung Fu, not linguistics. If you can't understand me, I will communicate with you like I would a dog. When I yell, when I point, When I beat you with my stick!
PAI MEI: Let's see how good you really are. Try and land a blow. If you land a single blow, I'll bow down and call you master.
PAI MEI: Since your arm now belongs to me, I want it strong. Can you do that?
THE BRIDE: I can, but not that close.
PAI MEI: Then you can't do it.
THE BRIDE: I can put my hand through that at six inches.
PAI MEI: And you could shoot a man from a rooftop with a scope-sight rifle, if you so desired, but this is not what I asked. What if your enemy is three inches in front of you, what do you do then? Curl into a ball? Or do you put your fist through him.
PAI MEI: It's the wood that should fear your hand, not the other way around. No wonder you can't do it, you acquiesce to defeat before you even begin.
PAI MEI: You are to go into that pit, and catch that rat, with your bare hands. If you catch the rat, I will deem you the victor, and tonight you will dine on bird. But, if you can't catch the rat by sundown, I'll deem the victor the rat. And because of the disgrace to my student, I will be forced to kill it. And then I will force you, to consume his body. Because to be my student, you must develop a taste for victory.
THE BRIDE: I acknowledge defeat at the paws of this rat. However, I will not eat this filthy vermin. What I will do... is consume his victorious heart. But tomorrow, you kill a big bird.
PAI MEI: How does victory taste?
THE BRIDE: Bitter.
PAI MEI: You still fight better than you speak. Finally, a woman who understands what's important.
THE BRIDE: I'd like a glass of water.
ELLE: Can I look at the sword?
BUDD: That's my money in that black case, isn't it?
ELLE: Sure is.
BUDD: Well then, it's your sword now.
ELLE: So this, is a Hattori Hanzo sword.
BUDD: That's a Hanzo sword alright.
ELLE: Bill tells me you once had one of your own.
ELLE: How does this one compare to that one?
BUDD: If you're gonna compare a Hanzo sword, you compare it to every sword ever made -- wasn't made by Hattori Hanzo.
BUDD: So, which "R" you filled with?
BUDD: They say the number one killer of old people is retirement. People got'em a job to do, they tend to live a little longer so they can do it. I've always figured warriors and their enemies share the same relationship. So now you ain't gonna hafta face your enemy on the battlefield no more, which "R" are you filled with, Relief or Regret?
ELLE: A little bit of both.
BUDD: Bullshit. I'm sure you do feel a little bit of both. But I know damn well you feel one more than you feel the other. The question was which one?
BUDD: Yeah you gotta hand it to the ol' girl. I never saw nobody buffalo Bill the way she buffaloed Bill. Bill useta think she was so damn smart. I tried to tell him... Bill, she's just smart for a blonde.
ELLE: Oh, I'm sorry Budd, that was rude of me wasn't it? Budd -- I'd like to introduce my friend, The Black Mamba. Black Mamba -- this is Budd. You know before I picked up that little fella, I looked him up on the internet. Fascinating creature the Black Mamba. Listen to this,
"...In Africa, the saying goes, in the bush, an elephant can kill you. A leopard can kill you. And a Black Mamba can kill you. But only with the Mamba, and this has been true in Africa since the dawn of time, is death sure. Hence its handle; Death Incarnate."
Pretty cool, huh?
"...Its neurotoxic venom is one of nature's most effective poisons, acting on the nervous system causing paralysis. The venom of a Black Mamba can kill a human in four hours, if say bitten on the ankle or the thumb. However, a bite to the face or torso can bring death from paralysis within twenty minutes."
Now you should listen to this cause this concerns you.
"The amount of venom that can be delivered from a single bit can be gargantuan."
-- You know I've always liked that word Gargantuan, and I so rarely have an opportunity to use it in a sentence.
"If not treated quickly with anti venom, 10 to 15 milligrams can be fatal to human beings. However, the Black Mamba can deliver as much as 100 to 400 milligrams of venom from a single bite."
ELLE: Now in these last agonizing minutes of life you have left, let me answer the question you asked earlier, more thoroughly. When it comes to that bitch, I gotta lotta "R's" in me. Revenge is one. Retribution is another. Rivalry is definitely one. But I got another "R" for that bitch you might be surprised to find out. Respect. But right at this moment, the biggest "R" I feel, is Regret. Regret that maybe the greatest warrior I have ever met, met her end at the hands of a bushwhackin, scrub, alacky piece of shit like you. The woman deserved better.
ELLE: Bill...Elle. I have some tragic news. Your brother's dead. I'm sorry baby. She put a Black Mamba in his camper. I got her, sweety. She's dead. Let me put it this way. If you ever start feeling sentimental, go to Austin, Texas. When you get here, walk into a florist and buy a bunch of flowers. Then you take those flowers to Huntington cemetery on Fuller and Guadalupe, look for the headstone marked "Paula Schultz", then lay them on the grave. Because you will be standing at the final resting place of BEATRIX KIDDO.
THE BRIDE: Elle?
THE BRIDE: I was wondering, just 'tween us girls, what did you say to Pai Mei for him to snatch out your eye?
ELLE: I called him a bastard.
THE BRIDE: Oooh, not so good.
THE BRIDE: The attentive audience members among you will have probably noticed, that all my kills have been straight up fights. Y'all figured I'd face him with my Hanzo sword, aye? Well, I figured Bill figured the same thing. I am the product of three godfathers. Bill, Pai Mei, and Hattori Hanzo. Different teachers teach you different things. But one thing I learned from all three, was "in combat, the opponent that does the unexpected, can usually expect to be the victor." Bill would never see this coming. Not from me. And least any of you judge me a bushwhacker, remember...It was Bill who taught me how to shoot.
THE BRIDE: When do we cross swords?
BILL: Well, it just so happens, my hacienda comes with its very own private beach. And my private beach, just so happens to look particularly beautiful bathed in moonlight. And there just so happens to be a full moon out tonight. So, swordfighter, if you want to sword fight, that's where I suggest. But if you wanna be old school about it - then we can wait till dawn, and slice each other up at sunrise, like a couple real life honest to goodness samurais. As per usual Kiddo, I'll leave the big decisions up to you.
HANZO: Half of Bill's strength, lies in his talent for the unexpected. If you intend to vanquish this man, and claim your daughter, you must not only expect the unexpected. You must do the unexpected.
BILL: She told me later, that the second she lifted up her foot and saw him not flapping, she knew he was dead. Is that not the perfect visual image of life and death? A fish flapping on the carpet, and a fish not flapping on the carpet. So powerful even a five-year old child with no concept of life and death knew what it meant. Not only did she know Emilio was dead, she knew she had killed him. So she comes running into my room, holding Emilio in both of her little hands - it was so cute - and she wanted me to make Emilio better. And I asked her, why did she step on Emilio? And she said, she didn't know. But I knew why. You didn't mean to hurt Emilio, you just wanted to see what would happen if you stepped on him, right?
BILL: And what happens when you stomp on Emilio, is you kill him. And you discovered that, didn't you?
BILL: So we drove down to the beach, had a little funeral, and gave Emilio a burial at sea. And right now I'm sure he's happy as can be, swimmin around in fish heaven. But the point being, our child learned two very important lessons. One, about life and death. The other, somethings once you do, they can't be undone. I knew just how she felt
BILL: Well sweety, I love Mommy, but I did to Mommy what you did to Emilio.
B.B.: You stomped on Mommy?
BILL: Worse. I shot Mommy. Not pretend shoot, like we were just doing. I shot her for real.
BILL: I don't know.
B.B.: Did you want to see what would happen?
BILL: No, I knew what would happen to Mommy if I shot her. What I didn't know, is when I shot Mommy, what would happen to me.
B.B.: What happened?
BILL: I was very sad. And that was when I learned, somethings once you do, they can never be undone.
Bill: Superman stands alone. Superman did not become Superman, Superman was born Superman. When Superman wakes up in the morning, he is Superman. His alter ego is Clark Kent. His outfit with the big red S is the blanket he was wrapped in as a baby when the Kents found him. Those are his clothes. What Kent wears, the glasses the business suit, that's the costume. That's the costume Superman wears to blend in with us. Clark Kent is how Superman views us. And what are the characteristics of Clark Kent? He's weak, unsure of himself... he's a coward. Clark Kent is Superman's critique on the whole human race, sort of like Beatrix Kiddo and Mrs. Tommy Plumpton.
BILL: I sent you to L.A. and you never came back. I thought you'd been killed. Do you know how cruel it is to make someone think someone they love is dead? I mourned you. Then in the third month of my mourning, I track you down. I wasn't trying to track you down, I was trying to track down - the fucking assholes - who I thought killed you. And when I find you, what to I find? Not only are you not dead, you're getting married - to some fuckin jerk - and you're pregnant? How do you expect me to react?
THE BRIDE: Why do you think I hid?
BILL: Why did you leave in the first place? You have cold eyes towards me now. I understand their temperature, but they were warm the second to the last time I saw them, or was that just my imagination?
THE BRIDE: No.
KAREN: So you came here to kill Lisa Wong, huh? Well that's my sister, bitch. I'm Karen Wong, and I've come here to kill you.
THE BRIDE: Wait a second! Yes, I'm an assassin. Yes I did come here to kill your sister. But I'm not gonna do that now.
KAREN: Oh, I know you're not --
THE BRIDE: - listen to me! I just found out, right now - not two minutes before you blew a hole in the door, I'm pregnant. On that table is the home pregnancy kit. On the floor by the door is the strip that says I'm pregnant. I'm telling you the truth, I don't want to and I won't kill your sister. I just want to go home.
KAREN: What is this, bullshit story number twelve in the female assassin's handbook?
THE BRIDE: Any other time you'd be a hundred percent right. But this time you're a hundred percent wrong. I'm the deadliest woman in the world, but right now I'm scared shitless for my baby. Please, you hafta believe me. Look at the strip, it's on the floor.
KAREN: Sit down on that bed and put your hands behind your head.
THE BRIDE: Blue means pregnant.
KAREN: I'll read it myself, thank you.
KAREN: Okay, say I were to believe you, what then?
THE BRIDE: Just go home. I'll do the same.
THE BRIDE: Facing Karen Wong, was the most frightening moment I have ever experienced. And that includes three years with that evil bastard Pai Mei. Before that strip turned blue, I was a woman, I was your woman. I was a killer, who killed for you. Before that strip turned blue, I would have jumped a motorcycle on to a speeding train ...for you. But once that strip turned blue, I could no longer do any of those things. Not anymore. Because now I was a mother. A mother who only had one thought on her mind. Please don't harm my baby. Can you understand that?
BILL: Yes. But why tell me now, and not then?
THE BRIDE: You wouldn't have let me go. Specially once you found out I was pregnant. You would've tried to talk me out of it. It would have been a big scene. I just said fuck it.
BILL: Fuck who?
THE BRIDE: Bill, you couldn't know I was pregnant, once you knew, you'd claim it, and I didn't want that.
BILL: That's not your decision to make.
THE BRIDE: Yes, but it's the right decision. And I made it for my daughter. Everybody on this earth deserves to start with a clean slate. But with us - my daughter would be born into a world she shouldn't be. Robbing her of the one thing everybody deserves. She would be born with blood stains. I had to choose. I chose her.
THE BRIDE: You know five years ago, if I had to make a list of impossible things that could never happen. You performing a coup de grace on me by bustin a cap in my crown, would be right at the top of the list. I'd've been wrong, wouldn't I?
BILL: I'm sorry was that a question? Of impossible things that could never happen - yes in this instance you would have been wrong.
THE BRIDE: Well?
BILL: Well what?
THE BRIDE: Explain yourself.
BILL: I already have. When I told you the story of when I thought you were dead. Didn't you get how badly I felt?
THE BRIDE: You call that an explanation?
BILL: Well if that's too cryptic let's get literal. There are consequences to breaking the heart of a murdering bastard. You experienced some of them.
BILL: He taught you the five-point-palm exploding heart technique?
THE BRIDE: Of course he did.
BILL: Why didn't you tell me?
THE BRIDE: I don't know... Because... I'm a... bad person.
BILL: No. You're not a bad person. You're a terrific person. You're my favorite person. But every once in awhile...you can be a real cunt.
BILL: How do I look?
THE BRIDE: You look ready
The lioness has been reunited with her cub, and all is right in the jungle.