FILLMORE: How's our wayward polar bear adjusting to life in a tropical lagoon? It must break you heart to think that you might never see you friends in the tundra again.
FILLMORE: Need to be somewhere?
THORNTON: Time for my windsurfing lesson.
THORNTON: I am now officially a tropical polar bear... The transformation is complete. I've found my new home... No more great white north.
THORNTON: Let's use the rest of this iceberg to make Pina Coladas.
SHERMAN: That's the spirit.
THORNTON: Frozen tundra lemmings!
SHERMAN: I got you a whole case of them.
THORNTON: It's the nicest things anybody's done for me. Mmpht.
SHERMAN: Figured you were homesick.
THORNTON: We used to make chocolate-covered lemmings back home. You get one to jump in the pot and they all follow.
SHERMAN: Sounds easy.
ERNEST: He died?
SHERMAN: I'm sorry, Ernest, I had no idea you were so close to a goldfish.
ERNEST: What happened?
SHERMAN: I dunno... Just croaked, I guess.
ERNEST: What'd you do with him?
ERNEST: Where is he?
SHERMAN: Oh... I returned him to nature.
ERNEST: You ate him, didn't you?
SHERMAN: Okay, I ate him. He died then I ate him.
SHERMAN: Roughly in that order.
ERNEST: You ate my fish.
SHERMAN: Fillmore, I've found a mate for you. Over there.
FILLMORE: The one with the dreadlocks? Too exotic.
SHERMAN: Oh, she has dreadlocks. That makes here too exotic.
FILLMORE: In her armpits.
SHERMAN: No sense of adventure.
SHERMAN: Hey! Who ate my squidos?
ERNEST: Got me.
FISH: Must've happened while you were alseep.
SHERMAN: I get no respect.
ERNEST: Au Contraire, fat boy. You rule around here.
SHERMAN: I'm a shark. Do you know what that means?
ERNEST: Large carnivore. Tiny brain.
FISH: Pretty dangerous combo.
FILLMORE: What... don't say a word... I noticed you from a distance, and I finally got up the nerve to come over and talk to you. I don't usually do this sort of thing, but it's mating season and you looked lonely.
TURTLE: I'm just holding my wife's purse.
FILLMORE: Beam me up, Scotty.
HAWTHORNE: So, you wanna meet chicks, huh?
FILLMORE: No. I'm looking for a long-term relationship.
HAWTHORNE: Doesn't matter, you still have to break the ice.
FILLMORE: Illuminate me, please.
HAWTHORNE: Just use a line from this book, "How to Talk to Women." Works for me.
FILLMORE: How many long-term relationship have you had?
FILLMORE: I strike out every mating season, and you have more women than you know what to do with.
SHERMAN: That's the way it is, Fillmore. Life's not fair. Life's not fair, then you die.
FILLMORE: But then what?
SHERMAN: Well... we all have our personal beliefs about the after-death thing. I'll probably be marinated and served on a skewer.
SHERMAN: Fillmore, I don't think I can function without Megan.
FILLMORE: Welcome to bachelorhood, Sherman.
SHERMAN: When I'm scared and lonely, who's gonne be there?
FILLMORE: I'm there when you need me.
SHERMAN: Who's gonna dream my dreams... dry my tears...
FILLMORE: That's what friends are for.
SHERMAN: Who's gonne smear vaseline on my goiters?
FILLMORE: I don't do goiters.
HAWTHORNE: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
FILLMORE: Take your head out of that oven! Just because your relationship with Megan is down the tubes doesn't mean it's the end of the world.
SHERMAN: I'm just licking the cheese off the bottom of the oven.
SHERMAN: She wants me to have an organ removed to prove my love to her.
HAWTHORNE: Whoah, Nelly! This is getting weird.
SHERMAN: It has to be a vital organ or it doesn't count.
HAWTHORNE: Well... let's see... How about the anterior lobe of the brain.
SHERMAN: Is that a vital organ?
HAWTHORNE: Apparently not.
SHERMAN: I've just come from the doctor's office, and I have bad news, Megan. Apparently, I have no vital organs inside of me... It's all just fish and fish byproducts with no apparent function. Basically, I'm a big lump of cat food.
HAWTHORNE: You saw a mermaid?
SHERMAN: With my own two eyes.
HAWTHORNE: Yeah, sure, fat boy, tell me another one.
SHERMAN: She was blond about yay long.
HAWTHORNE: A little mermaid, huh?
HAWTHORNE: Maybe the little mermaid.
HAWTHORNE: You truthin' me?
HAWTHORNE: Well, ya don't see on o' those everyday.
HAWTHORNE: Half human, half fish...
SHERMAN: And it tasted like chicken.
HAWTHORNE: No kiddin'?
SHERMAN: You know, Megan, I'm a lot like this can of cheez whiz. I have a hard exterior but there's a soft interior that's dying to get out. You just have to push the right button. Once the cheese whiz is out, you can't get it back in the can.
MEGAN: Let's leave it in the can.
SHERMAN: How much are shark steaks going for today, Fillmore?
FILLMORE: $8.99 a pound.
SHERMAN: YEEEEHA! That makes my net worth $3,000!
HAWTHORNE: I put my whole portfolio in crab meat.
FILLMORE: Down a quarter.
FILLMORE: Uh oh. I think the heat is getting to Thornton!
THORNTON: ICE! I NEED ICE!
FILLMORE: Ice! He needs ice or he's gonna die!
HAWTHORNE: Why would a polar bear want to live in the tropics anyway?
FILLMORE: Here's your ice.
THORNTON: A blender! I need a blender!
FILLMORE: A BLENDER! Wait a minute.
FILLMORE: Welcome back to Kapupu Lagoon, Thornton.
THORNTON: I miss the North Pole already. When I look into my frozen Pina Colada, all I see is the rolling snowdrifts of my home.
FILLMORE: It is a little strange that a polar bear keeps showing up around here. Why'd you come back?
THORNTON: Whenever I look at snowdirfts, I see Pina Coladas.
SHERMAN: Know what? I don't think Thornton wants to go back to the North Pole. I think he likes it here in the tropics.
FILLMORE: No! Really?
HAWTHORNE: How can you tell?
SHERMAN: Call it intuition... insight.
FILLMORE: A sixth sense maybe.
HAWTHORNE: I'd call it X-ray vision.
SHERMAN: Know what else? I think pro wrestling is rigged.
SHERMAN: Thornton, look, I realize it's a tropical paradise around here, but you're a polar bear, and polar bears don't belong. I'm a shark. Nature intended for me to live here. Got it? You're on my turf. Got it?
THORNTON: You're a shark?
THORNTON: You look like a potato with fins.
MEGAN: Sherman, how long is your brother staying with us?
SHERMAN: Dunno. Why?
MEGAN: It's been a week now. You know what Ben Franklin said... guests and fish both begin to smell after 5 days. And in this case, the guest is a fish.
SHERMAN: "Miss Manners" says if you want to get rid of an unwanted guest, server him a bad dinner. Why don't we serve him that disgusting casserole you always make? That'll send him packing.
MEGAN: It hasn't worked on you.
SHERMAN: Point well taken.
SHERMAN: Before we solve my brother's murder, we need to find out who was the last person to see him alive.
MEGAN: That would be me.
SHERMAN: What was he doing?
MEGAN: He was sitting there, eating his lucky charms.
SHERMAN: Hmph. Then what?
MEGAN: Then he said "hi" to me.
SHERMAN: Fascinating. Then what?
MEGAN: Then I shot him with the spear gun.
SHERMAN: You shot my brother with a spear gun?
MEGAN: It was an accident. I was cleaning it and it went off. Look
SHERMAN: It is a clean spear gun.
MEGAN: Had to clean it twice - it missed him the first time.
SHERMAN: Kahuna, your wise counsel has served me well in the past. Oh, all-knowing one, seer of what is yet to be, share your wisdom so that this mortal can prepare the way.
KAHUNA: Hmmm... Kahuna see volatile year ahead.
SHERMAN: I'm listening.
KAHUNA: Kahuna dump high-tech stocks, go with blue chips.
SHERMAN: What about the world series?
MAN: Sherman, you did remarkably well on your intelligence test.
SHERMAN: Sharks aren't so stupid after all.
MAN: And I thought you were a mindless eating machine. Now I'll have to look at you in a completely different light. You seem to be aware of the stupid things you do.
SHERMAN: Darn tootin'.
SHERMAN: I thought cheating on my intelligence test would help my image, Fillmore. It hasn't fooled anybody. I try to act smart, but somehow, people know I'm stupid. You are what you are, I guess. It's not something you can keep bottled up inside of you.
FILLMORE: Stupidity finds a way.
SHERMAN: What time is it?
SHERMAN: Need to kill some time before lunch. Brunch
FILLMORE: There you go.
SHERMAN: Look at that cloud, Megan. What do you see?
MEGAN: I see a guy...
SHERMAN: A guy? What kind of guy?
MEGAN: A companion. A soul mate. A guy who cares about me. A guy whose every waking thought isn't about food.
SHERMAN: Hmph. I see a big pork chop.
FISH: See these?
SHERMAN and FILLMORE: Yeah.
FISH: These are razor-sharp, instant death-inducing spine... nobody messes with me. Got it?
SHERMAN: Mother nature should've recalled that model.
FILLMORE: I think she just did.
SHERMAN: Mpht. Got something stuck in my teeth... Well, whaddaya know! It's a Saint Anthony medal. They're supposed to bring good luck to swimmers.
FILLMORE: So much for that theory.
ERNEST: There's a cat in the hat.
SHERMAN: No. it's a hat from "The Cat in the Hat."
SHERMAN: It's a Dr. Seuss book. Gross. There's a cat in the "Cat in the Hat" hat.
ERNEST: Told you.
SHERMAN: What are you watching, Hawthorne?
SHERMAN: Hmph. Talking animals?
HAWTHORNE: I know, it's a stretch.
SHERMAN: What's this? The first salmon of the season?
BURT: We drew straws, and I lost. I have to swim upstream ahead of the others and look for bears. Somebody's gotta do it.
SHERMAN: The way I see it, you could get eaten by a bear and not come back... or you could sit here and watch the world series and not come back.
BURT: Play ball.
MEGAN: Who's your new friend, Sherman?
SHERMAN: Megan, meet Burt. Burt's a coho salmon.
MEGAN: Hellow Burt.
SHERMAN: Burt should be swimming upstream to raise a family and be a responsible father, but I talked him out of it.
BURT: We're watching the world series instead.
MEGAN: Good. We try to discourage men like you from reproducing.
HAWTHORNE: I didn't know polar bears migrated.
THORNTON: Yep. I spend my summers up north and my winters here in the South Pacific.
HAWTHORNE: Jeez! That's one heck of a swim all the way to the North Pole.
THORNTON: Well, I don't go all the way to the North Pole.
HAWTHORNE: Oh no?
THORNTON: Uh, no.
HAWTHORNE: How far North do you go?
MEGAN: That killer robotic dolphin is gaining on us, Sherman! I've got an idea. Let's split up.
SHERMAN: Hmmm.... ok. It's been nice knowing you, Megan.
SHERMAN: Fillmore! Help! There's a killer robotic dolphin chasing me!
FILLMORE: Well, stay away from me!
SHERMAN: Boy, and I though we were friends. After all I've done for you!
FILLMORE: Like what?
SHERMAN: I always give you me pickles from my Big Macs.
FILLMORE: You hate pickles.
FILLMORE: Sherman is helping you write software?
ERNEST: Sort of. I'm taking his thought proccesses and programming the robot to reproduce them. We're one step closer to making robots act like living things, in this case, Sherman. I call it "Artificial Stupidity."
FILLMORE: Has a ring to it.
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