Insults - Quotes
You're like school on a Saturday... no class!
To succeed in life, it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well mannered.
It's understanding that makes it possible for people like us to tolerate people like you. Ferris Bueller's Day Off
If your mind isn't open, keep your mouth shut too.
M is for Malice
The wheel is spinning, but the hampster's dead.
I was going to bring you a shit sandwich, but I remembered that you don't like bread.
Is that your face, or did your neck throw-up?
Men are like snowstorms in that you never know when they're coming, how long they'll last, or how many inches you're going to get.
Men have periods too, they just don't bleed.
He was the kind of man who walked into an Amsterdam hash-bar, and ordered it with eggs.
She gave him such a look... Man oh man, if looks could kill. That one might have totalled a city block.
Prarie Home Companion
God made rivers, God made lakes, God made you, well, we all make mistakes.
"I'm sorry I'm late"
"Dont apologize. I'm sorry you're alive Blackadder ll
I was gonna smack you in the face, but I see God already beat me to it.
May you live in interesting times! ancient Chinese curse
Women are more balanced than men. Where the most brilliant minds have so far have mostly belonged to men, no women has ever been as stupid as a man can be.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be ecstatic.
If I wanted to hear from an asshole I'd fart.
Hey, you're pretty quick... then again I guess I'd be pretty quick too if I spent the first nine-months of my life dodging a coat hanger.
Are you a polititcian or does lyin' just run in your family?
Fried Green Tomatoes
Don't hate me because I'm beautiful. Hate me because your man seems to think so too.
Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.
Do that trick again, the one where you open your mouth and your head disappears.
Miracle On Mason Street
God made man in his own image, and it would be a sad look out for Christians throughout the globe if God looked anything like you!
I lost closer friends than him the last time I was deloused.
Compliments cost nothing, and so they are of little value to any except fools and women.
Look, we're Americans: optimistic, addicted to the quick fix, constantly on the hunt for the new and exotic. It's much easier for us to accept a guy with a big white beard hawking his own custom blend of saw palmetto and squirrel dandruff that it is to hear a real doctor telling us to lay off the big macs, and get off our fat asses and take a walk every decade or so.
Producing satire is kind of hopeless because of the literacy rate of the American public.
I assure you, you will never survive on your wits alone.
I don't know anything about this man. Anyhow, I only know two things about him. One is, he has never been in jail, and the other is, I don't know why.
If you can't laugh at yourself, there's always someone there to show you how it's done.
You are the strongest argument, yet, against cloning.
I'm blonde......what's YOUR excuse?
Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself.
A man is really amazing creature - he grieves when he loses wealth and still he is absolutely indifferent when his life is passing without any aim.
If a man builds one thousand bridges, then sucks one dick, to the world, he's not a bridge-builder, he's a cock-sucker. Play It to the Bone
Why don't you do the world a favour. Pull your bottom lip up over your head and swallow.
Grumpy Old Men
If I had a dollar for every brain you don't have... I'd have a dollar.
The magnanimity and sensibility of a lady who faints when she sees a calf being killed, she is so kind hearted that she can't look at the blood, but enjoys serving the calf up with sauce
War and Peace