Small Potatoes (4x20)
written by Vince Gilligan
MULDER: Children born with vestigial tails don't interest you?
SCULLY: Caudal appendages. Fetuses have them. Their coccyx enlargens to contain the spinal fluid and then it shrinks as the child develops. Occasionally, it doesn't. It's extremely rare, but it has been known to happen.
MULDER: When you were admitted you said that the baby's father was from another planet. What did you mean by that exactly?
AMANDA: You know, that he's not from this planet.
MULDER: Were you abducted?
AMANDA: Huh? No, no, he dropped by my apartment one day, and one thing sort of led to another...
MULDER: But the baby's father is an alien?
AMANDA: No, no, I didn't say he was an alien, I said he was from another planet. His name is Luke Skywalker. He's what's known as a Jedi Knight.
SCULLY: Did he have a light saber?
AMANDA: No, he didn't bring it.
SCULLY: How many times have you seen Star Wars, Amanda?
AMANDA: Three hundred and sixty eight. I should break four hundred by Memorial Day.
SCULLY: You're the father of five children Mr Van Blundht. Is that not news to you? Do you have any insight into how five women came to be inseminated with your sperm?
EDDIE: You make it sound so romantic.
EDDIE: Look, I'm not saying anything one way or another. I'm just saying hypothetically, if some women wanted to have kids, their husbands weren't...capable, and everybody was happy and no one got hurt, well hypothetically, where's the crime?
MULDER: Well, if you're waiting for my usual theory as to what's going on, I don't have one.
MULDER: Hey Scully, if you could be somebody else for a day, who would it be?
SCULLY: Hopefully myself.
MULDER: So boring! I mean, wouldn't you even be tempted to try out someone else's existence for a day, live your life as somebody else?
SCULLY: Looking like someone else, Mulder, and being someone else are completely different things.
MULDER: Well, maybe it's not, I mean everybody else around you would treat you like you were somebody else, and ultimately maybe it's other people's reactions to us that make us who we are.
MULDER: What did you want to talk to me about, Eddie?
EDDIE: I just think it's funny. I was born a loser, but you're one by choice.
MULDER: On what do you base that astute assessment?
EDDIE: Experience. You should live a little. Treat yourself. God knows I would if I were you.