Dreamland 2 (6x05)
written by Vince Gilligan, Frank Spotnitz and John Shiban
MORRIS: (voiceover) Once upon a time, there was a guy with the improbable name of Fox Mulder. He started out life happily enough, as these things go. He had parents who loved him, a cute kid sister. He had a roof over his head, got all his flu shots, had all his fingers and toes and aside from being stuck with the name "Fox" which probably taught him how to fight -- or not -- he pretty much led a normal life. But the worst thing by far -- the biggest kick in the slacks this kid Fox ever got-- was what happened to his sister. One day, she just disappeared.
Now, Fox buckled down and worked his butt off. Graduated top of his class at Oxford then top of his class at the FBI academy. None of that hard work made up for his sister, though. It was just a way of putting her out of his mind. Finally, the way I figure it, he went out of his mind and he's been that way ever since. Fox Mulder pissed away a brilliant career, lost the respect of supervisors and friends and now lives his life shaking his fist at the sky and muttering about conspiracies to anyone who will listen. If you ask me, he's one step away from pushing a baby carriage filled with tin cans down the street. But now, all that's going to change.
JOANNE FLETCHER: I've heard enough from you for one lifetime, Morris. Go tell it to that tramp of yours, that Scully, whatshername.
MULDER (as MORRIS): Dana Scully- Special Agent Dana Scully.
JOANNE FLETCHER: Special Tramp Dana Scully.
MULDER (as MORRIS): She's my partner, Joanne.
JOANNE FLETCHER: I'm supposed to be your partner.
MULDER (as MORRIS): My name is not Morris Fletcher. It's Fox Mulder. Special Agent Fox Mulder with the FBI. Dana Scully is my FBI partner. I am not your husband, we are not married, we are complete strangers and I have a whole other life that I'm desperately trying to get back to.
JOANNE FLETCHER: You know, Morris, most men when they have a mid-life crisis they go out and buy themselves a sports car. They don't run around calling themselves Fox.
BYERS: Where did you get this?
SCULLY: Groom Lake. Outside Area 51.
LANGLY: The Aurora spy plane.
SCULLY: What's that?
FROHIKE: Black world. Top, top secret. A skunkworks special.
BYERS: Aurora is a hypersonic reconnaissance aircraft fueled with slush-hydrogen.
LANGLY: Or methylcyclohexane.
SCULLY: He's not Mulder.
SCULLY: We think the crash of this particular aircraft -- whatever it was-- resulted in a, uh...
MORRIS (as MULDER): My name is Morris Fletcher. I work inside Area 51. I assumed Mulder's identity through a warp in the space-time continuum.
MORRIS (as MULDER): Trust me, little man, I ain't him. Oh, I love you guys. I really do. I mean, you're the "Lone Gunmen," aren't you? You guys are my heroes. I mean, look at this crap you print.
BYERS: We uncover the truth.
MORRIS (as MULDER): Oh, the truth. Well, see that's what's so great about you monkeys. Not only do you believe this horse pucky that we create you broadcast it as well. I mean, look at this.
("Saddam testing Mandriod Army in Army Iraqi Desert".)
MORRIS (as MULDER): There is no Saddam Hussein. This guy's name is John Gillnitz. We found him doing dinner theater in Tulsa. Did a mean King and I. Plays good ethnics.
LANGLY: You're trying to say that Saddam Hussein's a government plant?
MORRIS (as MULDER): I'm saying I invented the guy. We set him up in '79. He rattles his saber whenever we need a good distraction. Ah... If you boys only knew how many of your stories I dreamed up while sitting on the pot.
GENERAL WEGMAN: I didn't mean for it to crash. I just wanted you to see it.
MULDER (as MORRIS): Well, why?
GENERAL WEGMAN: There comes a time when you... look back instead of forward... See the sum of your life. My entire career has been spent hiding the truth from the American people destroying, in a way, that which was most precious to me.
MULDER (as MORRIS): What is the truth?
GENERAL WEGMAN: You mean... You don't know?
MULDER (as MORRIS): Don't know what?
GENERAL WEGMAN: The truth - what *is* going on here at Area 51? What are these black-budget projects? We just fly these birds. They don't tell us what makes them go. They engineer them all up in Utah.
MULDER (as MORRIS): Well, if you don't know, why'd you call me?
GENERAL WEGMAN: Well, I... I've seen your file. You've chased flying saucers for years. Do aliens really exist, Agent Mulder?
SCULLY: I, uh... I just got off the phone with Frohike. They were able to download and analyze the crash data and, yes, there was an anomalous event that night.
MULDER (as Morris): And how do I get back?
SCULLY: Well, that's just it. It's all about random moments in time... About a series of variables approaching an event horizon. And even if we... could recreate that moment if we could sabotage another craft... Mulder, if we were... If we were off... If the event were off by even one millisecond...
MULDER (as Morris): I might wind up with my head in a rock.
SCULLY: Something like that, yeah.
MULDER (as Morris): What about him? I mean, me. Whatever. Whoever he is.
SCULLY: Agent Mulder has become AD Kersh's new golden boy. He's been tasked with returning the flight data recorder that he and I stole. The son of a bitch confesses to Kersh even more than I do to my priest. I'm just tagging along for the ride.
MULDER (as Morris): What do you mean, "just tagging along"?
SCULLY: I'm out of the Bureau. I've been censured and relieved of my position.
SCULLY: I'd kiss you if you weren't so damn ugly.
MULDER (as MORRIS): If I... shoot him is that murder or suicide?
SCULLY: Neither, if I do it first.
MORRIS (as MULDER): I love this job! Listen, Dana, after we return this flight recorder what do you say I have a word with the big man-- see if I can get you your job back? We could have lots of fun together once you got to know me. You know I'd change.
SCULLY: I've still got my gun.