The One Where Underdog Gets Away (109)

written by Jeff Greenstein & Jeff Strauss

Season 1
Where Monica Gets A New Roomate
With The Sonogram At The End
With The Thumb
With George Stephanoloulos
With The East German Laundry Detergent
With The Butt
With The Blackout
Where Nana Dies Twice
Where Underdog Gets Away
With The Monkey
With Mrs.Bing
With The Dozen Lasagnes
With The Boobies
With The Candy Hearts
With The Stoned Guy
With Two Parts, Part 1
With Two Parts, Part 2
With All The Poker
Where The Monkey Gets Away
With The Evil Orthodontist
With The Fake Monica
With The Ick Factor
With The Birth
Where Rachel Finds Out

Season 2
With Ross' New Girlfriend
With The Breast Milk
Where Heckles Dies
With Phoebe's Husband
With Five Steaks And An Eggplant
With The Baby On The Bus
Where Ross Finds Out
With The List
With Phoebe's Dad
With Russ
With The Lesbian Wedding
After The Superbowl, Part 1
After The Superbowl, Part 2
With The Prom Video
Where Ross And Rachel... You Know
Where Joey Moves Out
Where Eddie Moves In
Where Dr.Remore Dies
Where Eddie Won't Go
Where Old Yeller Dies
With The Two Bullies
With The Two Parties
With The Chickenpox
With Barry And Mindy's Wedding

Season 3
With The Princess Leia Fantasy
Where No-One's Ready
With The Jam
With The Metaphorical Tunnel
With Frank Jnr
With The Flashback
With The Race Car Bed
With The Giant Poking Device
With The Football
Where Rachel Quits
Where Chandler Can`t Remember Which Sister
With All The Jealousy
Where Monica And Richard Are Friends
With Phoebe's Ex-Partner
Where Ross And Rachel Take A Break
With The Morning After
With The Ski Trip
With The Hypnosis Tape
With The Tiny T-Shirt
With The Dollhouse
With The Chick and the Duck
With The Screamer
With Ross's Thing
With The Ultimate Fighting Champion
At The Beach

Season 4
With The Jellyfish
With The Cat
With The 'Cuffs
With The Ballroom Dancing
With Joey's New Girlfriend
With The Dirty Girl
Where Chandler Crosses The Line
With Chandler In A Box
Where They're Gonna Party!
With The Girl From Poughkeepsie
With Phoebe's Uterus
With The Embryos
With Rachel's Crush
With Joey's Dirty Day
With All The Rugby
With The Fake Party
With The Free Porn
With Rachel's New Dress
With All The Haste
With All The Wedding Dresses
With The Invitation
With The Worst Best Man Ever
With Ross`s Wedding Part I and II

Season 5
After Ross Said Rachel
With All The Kissing
Where Phoebe Hates PBS
With All The Kips
With The Yeti
Where Ross Moves In
With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks
With Ross's Sandwich
With The Inappropriate Sister
With All The Resolutions
With Chandler's Work Laugh
With Joey's Bag
Where Everyone Finds Out
With The Girl Who Hits Joey
With A Cop
With Rachel's Inadvertant Kiss
Where Rachel Smokes
Where Ross Can't Flirt
With The Ride Along
With The Ball
With Joey's Big Break
In Vegas (Season Finale/Hour Long Episode)

Season 6
After Vegas
Where Ross Hugs Rachel
With Ross's Denial
Where Joey Loses His Insurance
With Joey's Porsche
With The Last Night
Where Phoebe Runs
With Ross's Teeth
Where Ross Got High
With The Routine
With The Apothecary Table
With The Joke
With Rachels Sister
Where Chandler Can't Cry
That Could Have Been (Parts 1 & 2)
With The Unagi
Where Ross Dates A Student
With Joey's Fridge
With Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.
Where Ross Meets Elizabeth's Dad
Where Paul's The Man
With The Ring
With The Proposal(Season Finale)

With Monica\'s Thunder
With Rachel's Book
With Phoebe's Cookies
With Rachel's Assistant
With The Engagement Picture
With The Nap Partners
With Ross's Library Book
Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs
With All The Candy
With The Holiday Armadilio
With All The Cheesecakes
Where They're Up All Night
Where Rosita Dies
Where They All Turn Thirty
With Joey's New Brain
With The Truth About London
With The Cheap Wedding Dress
With Joey's Award
With Ross and Monica's Cousin
With Rachel's Big Kiss
With The Vows
With Chandler's Dad

Season 8
After 'I Do'
With The Red Sweater
Where Rachel Tells...
With The Videotape
With Rachel's Date
With The Halloween Party
CHANDLER: And this from the cry-for-help department. Are you wearing makeup?

JOEY: Yes, I am. As of today, I am officially Joey Tribbiani, actor slash model.

CHANDLER: That's so funny, 'cause I was thinking you look more like Joey Tribbiani, man slash woman.

JOEY: You know those posters for the city free clinic?

MONICA: Oh, wow, so you're gonna be one of those "healthy, healthy, healthy guys"?

PHOEBE: You know, the asthma guy was really cute.

CHANDLER: Do you know which one you're gonna be?

JOEY: No, I hear lyme disease is open, so...

CHANDLER: Good luck, man. I hope you get it.

JOEY: Thanks.

MONICA: Yeah. Rache, are you thinking you're gonna make it to Vail?

RACHEL: Absolutely. Shoop, shoop, shoop. Only a hundred and two dollars to go.

CHANDLER: I thought it was $98.50.

RACHEL: Yeah, well it was. I, I broke a cup.

ROSS: Oh, I uh, just came by to pick up my skull, well, not mine, but...

SUSAN: Come in.

ROSS: Thanks. Yeah, Carol borrowed it for a class, and I have to get it back to the museum.

SUSAN: What's it look like?

ROSS: Kinda like a big face without skin.

ROSS: You're not serious, I mean, you really, you really talk to it?

SUSAN: Yeah, all the time. I want the baby to know my voice.

ROSS: Do you uh, do you talk about me?

SUSAN: Yeah, yeah, all the time.

ROSS: Really?

SUSAN: But um, we just refer to you as Bobo the Sperm Guy.

ROSS: Look, if she's talking to it, I just think that I should get some belly time too. Not that I believe any of this.

PHOEBE: Oh, I believe it. I think the baby can totally believe everything. I can show you. Look, this will seem a little weird, but you put your head inside this turkey, and then we'll all talk, and you'll hear everything we say.

CHANDLER: I'd just like to say that I'm totally behind this experiment. In fact, I'd very much like to butter your head.

JOEY: Ooh, you smell great tonight. What're you wearing?

GIRL: Nothing.

JOEY: Listen, uh, you wanna go get a drink or something?

GIRL: Yeah. Oh.

JOEY: What's wrong?

GIRL: I just remembered, I have to do something.

JOEY: Oh. What?

GIRL: Um, leave.

JOEY: Wait, wait, wait!

JOEY: So I guess you all saw it.

RACHEL: Saw what?

PHOEBE: No, we were just laughing. You know, how laughter can be infectious.

JOEY: Set another place for Thanksgiving. My entire family thinks I have VD.

CHANDLER: The most unbelievable thing has happened. Underdog has just gotten away.

JOEY: The balloon?

CHANDLER: No, no, the actual cartoon character. Of course the balloon. It's all over the news. Right before he reached Macy's, he broke free and was spotted flying over Washington Square Park. I'm goin' to the roof, who's with me?

RACHEL: I can't, I gotta go.

CHANDLER: Come on. An 80-foot inflatable dog let loose over the city. How often does that happen?

PHOEBE: Almost never.

JOEY: Wait, wait, we have a copy of your key.

MONICA: Well then get it, get it!

JOEY: That tone will not make me go any faster.


JOEY: That one will.

ROSS: And everyone's telling me, you gotta pick a major, you gotta pick a major. So, on a dare, I picked paleontology. And you have no idea what I'm saying, because, let's face it, you're a foetus. You're just happy you don't have gills anymore.

CAROL: Look, you don't have to talk to it. You can sing to it if you want.

ROSS: Oh, please. I am not singing to your stomach, ok?

JOEY: Nope, not that one.

MONICA: Can you go any faster with that?

JOEY: Hey, I got one keyhole and about a zillion keys. You do the math.

MONICA: Why do you guys have so many keys in there anyway?

CHANDLER: For an emergency just like this.

MONICA: Why would I have the keys?

RACHEL: Aside from the fact that you said you had them?

MONICA: But I didn't.

RACHEL: Well, you should have.


RACHEL: Because!


RACHEL: Because!



PHOEBE: Ugly Naked Guy's taking his turkey out of the oven. Oh my god. He's not alone. Ugly Naked Guy's having Thanksgiving dinner with Ugly Naked Gal.

JOEY: I've gotta see this. All right Ugly Naked Guy!

MONICA: Ooh, Ugly Naked Dancing!

PHOEBE: Ooh, you guys have to make a wish.

MONICA: Make a wish?

PHOEBE: Come on, you know, Thanksgiving. Ooh, you got the bigger half. What'd you wish for?

JOEY: The bigger half.

HANDLER: I'd like to propose a toast. Little toast here, ding ding. I know this isn't the kind of Thanksgiving that all of you all planned, but for me, this has been really great, you know, I think because it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting. Anyway, I was just thinking, I mean, if you'd gone to Vail, and if you guys'd been with your family, if you didn't have syphilis and stuff, we wouldn't be all together, you know? So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked.

ALL: That's so sweet.

ROSS: And hey, here's to a lousy Christmas.

RACHEL: And a crappy New Year.

transcribed by Mindy Mattingly Phillips