The One Where Rachel Finds Out (124)
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Season 1 Where Monica Gets A New Roomate With The Sonogram At The End With The Thumb With George Stephanoloulos With The East German Laundry Detergent With The Butt With The Blackout Where Nana Dies Twice Where Underdog Gets Away With The Monkey With Mrs.Bing With The Dozen Lasagnes With The Boobies With The Candy Hearts With The Stoned Guy With Two Parts, Part 1 With Two Parts, Part 2 With All The Poker Where The Monkey Gets Away With The Evil Orthodontist With The Fake Monica With The Ick Factor With The Birth Where Rachel Finds Out Season 2 With Ross' New Girlfriend With The Breast Milk Where Heckles Dies With Phoebe's Husband With Five Steaks And An Eggplant With The Baby On The Bus Where Ross Finds Out With The List With Phoebe's Dad With Russ With The Lesbian Wedding After The Superbowl, Part 1 After The Superbowl, Part 2 With The Prom Video Where Ross And Rachel... You Know Where Joey Moves Out Where Eddie Moves In Where Dr.Remore Dies Where Eddie Won't Go Where Old Yeller Dies With The Two Bullies With The Two Parties With The Chickenpox With Barry And Mindy's Wedding Season 3 With The Princess Leia Fantasy Where No-One's Ready With The Jam With The Metaphorical Tunnel With Frank Jnr With The Flashback With The Race Car Bed With The Giant Poking Device With The Football Where Rachel Quits Where Chandler Can`t Remember Which Sister With All The Jealousy Where Monica And Richard Are Friends With Phoebe's Ex-Partner Where Ross And Rachel Take A Break With The Morning After With The Ski Trip With The Hypnosis Tape With The Tiny T-Shirt With The Dollhouse With The Chick and the Duck With The Screamer With Ross's Thing With The Ultimate Fighting Champion At The Beach Season 4 With The Jellyfish With The Cat With The 'Cuffs With The Ballroom Dancing With Joey's New Girlfriend With The Dirty Girl Where Chandler Crosses The Line With Chandler In A Box Where They're Gonna Party! With The Girl From Poughkeepsie With Phoebe's Uterus With The Embryos With Rachel's Crush With Joey's Dirty Day With All The Rugby With The Fake Party With The Free Porn With Rachel's New Dress With All The Haste With All The Wedding Dresses With The Invitation With The Worst Best Man Ever With Ross`s Wedding Part I and II Season 5 After Ross Said Rachel With All The Kissing Hundredth Where Phoebe Hates PBS With All The Kips With The Yeti Where Ross Moves In With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks With Ross's Sandwich With The Inappropriate Sister With All The Resolutions With Chandler's Work Laugh With Joey's Bag Where Everyone Finds Out With The Girl Who Hits Joey With A Cop With Rachel's Inadvertant Kiss Where Rachel Smokes Where Ross Can't Flirt With The Ride Along With The Ball With Joey's Big Break In Vegas (Season Finale/Hour Long Episode) Season 6 After Vegas Where Ross Hugs Rachel With Ross's Denial Where Joey Loses His Insurance With Joey's Porsche With The Last Night Where Phoebe Runs With Ross's Teeth Where Ross Got High With The Routine With The Apothecary Table With The Joke With Rachels Sister Where Chandler Can't Cry That Could Have Been (Parts 1 & 2) With The Unagi Where Ross Dates A Student With Joey's Fridge With Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. Where Ross Meets Elizabeth's Dad Where Paul's The Man With The Ring With The Proposal(Season Finale) With Monica\'s Thunder With Rachel's Book With Phoebe's Cookies With Rachel's Assistant With The Engagement Picture With The Nap Partners With Ross's Library Book Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs With All The Candy With The Holiday Armadilio With All The Cheesecakes Where They're Up All Night Where Rosita Dies Where They All Turn Thirty With Joey's New Brain With The Truth About London With The Cheap Wedding Dress With Joey's Award With Ross and Monica's Cousin With Rachel's Big Kiss With The Vows With Chandler's Dad Season 8 After 'I Do' With The Red Sweater Where Rachel Tells... With The Videotape With Rachel's Date With The Halloween Party |
JOEY: Hey, Chan, can you help me out here? I promise I'll pay you back. CHANDLER: Oh, yeah right, OK, including the waffles last week, you now owe me...seventeen jillion dollars. JOEY: I will, really. I'll pay you back this time. JOEY: Well... I'm helping out down at the NYU Med School with some... research. ROSS: What kind of research? JOEY: Oh, just, y'know... science. ROSS: Science. Yeah, I think I've heard of that. JOEY: ... It's a fertility study. MONICA: Oh, Joey, please tell me you're only donating your time. JOEY: Alright, come on you guys, it's not that big a deal. Really... I mean, I just go down there every other day and... make my contribution to the project. Hey, hey, but at the end of two weeks, I get seven hundred dollars. ROSS: Hey. PHOEBE: Wow, ooh, you're gonna be making money hand over fist! PHOEBE: So how are things going with you two? Is she becoming your special someone? JOEY: I don't know, she's, uh... she's pretty great. MONICA: Yeah? What does she think of your little science project? JOEY: What, you think I'm gonna tell a girl I like that I'm also seeing a cup? MONICA: Man's got a point. JOEY: Well, the tough thing is, she really wants to have sex with me. CHANDLER: Crazy bitch. JOEY: Yeah, well, I still got a week left to go in the program, and according to the rules, if I want to get the money I'm not allowed to conduct any... personal experiments, if you know what I mean. MONICA: Joey... we always know what you mean. ROSS: I'm going to China. PHOEBE: Jeez, you say one thing, and... MONICA: You're going to China? ROSS: Yeah, i-it's for the museum. Someone found a bone, we want the bone, but they don't want us to have the bone, so I'm going over there to try to persuade them to give us the bo - it's - it's a whole big bone thing. Anyway, I'm gonna be gone for like, uh... like a week, so, uh, if you wanna reach me, y-you can't. So here's my itinerary. Um... here's a picture of me... PHOEBE: Oh, let me see! ROSS: Could you take it to Carol's every now and then, and show it to Ben, just so he doesn't forget me? MONICA: Yeah. ROSS: ...I have to go to China. JOEY: The country? ROSS: No no, this big pile of dishes in my mom's breakfront. ROSS: Do you guys know who Carl is? CHANDLER: Uh, let's see... Alvin... Simon... Theodore... no. ROSS: Well, Rachel's having drinks with him tonight. JOEY: Oh no! How can she do that when she's never shown any interest in you?!? CHANDLER: Forget about her. JOEY: He's right, man. Please. Move on. Go to China. Eat Chinese food. CHANDLER: Course there, they just call it food. ROSS: Yeah... I guess. I don't--I don't know. Alright, just... just give her this for me, OK? JOEY: Listen, buddy, we're just looking out for you. ROSS: I know. JOEY: We want you to be happy. And I may only have a couple beers in me, but... I love you, man. CHANDLER: I'm still on my first. I just think you're nice. MONICA: Hey, hold on there, tiger. How's it going? How you holding up? JOEY: Well, not so good. She definitely thinks tonight is the night we're gonna... complete the transaction, if you know what I - MONICA: So, uh, have you ever thought about being there for her? JOEY: What do you mean? MONICA: Y'know, just be there for her. JOEY: Not following you. MONICA: Think about it. RACHEL: This one's from Joey... feels like a book. Thinks it's a book... feels like a book. And... it's a book! PHOEBE: Oh, it's Dr. Seuss! JOEY: That book got me through some tough times. MELANIE: There is a little child inside this man! CHANDLER: Yes, the doctors say if they remove it, he'll die. RACHEL: Oh... Oh my God. He remembered. PHOEBE: Remembered what? RACHEL: It was like months ago. We were walking by this antique store, and I saw this pin in the window, and I told him it was just like one my grandmother had when I was a little girl. Oh! I can't believe he remembered! CHANDLER: Well, sure, but can you play it on a plane? PHOEBE: Oh, it's so pretty. This must have cost him a fortune. MONICA: I can't believe he did this. CHANDLER: Come on, Ross? Remember back in college, when he fell in love with Carol and bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck? RACHEL: What did you just say? CHANDLER: Ahem... um... Crystal duck. RACHEL: No, no, no... the, um, the... 'love' part? CHANDLER: F-hah... flennin... RACHEL: Oh... my God. CHANDLER: Oh, no no no no no... JOEY: That's good, just keep rubbing your head. That'll turn back time. RACHEL: I mean, this is unbelievable. PHOEBE: I know. This is really, really huge. CHANDLER: No it's not. It's small. It's tiny. It's petite. It's wee. PHOEBE: Nuh-uh. I don't think any of our lives are ever gonna be the same ever again. CHANDLER: OK, is there a mute button on this woman? MONICA: I think this is so great! I mean, you and Ross! D-did you have any idea? RACHEL: No! None! I mean, my first night in the city, he mentioned something about asking me out, but nothing ever happened, so I just... W-well, what else did he say? I mean, does he, like, want to go out with me? JOEY: Well, given that he's desperately in love with you, he probably wouldn't mind getting a cup of coffee or something. RACHEL: Ross? All this time? Well, I've got to talk to him. CHANDLER: H-He's in China! JOEY: The country. MONICA: No, no, wait. His flight doesn't leave for another forty-five more minutes. CHANDLER: What about the time difference? MONICA: From here to the airport? FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Sir? Sir? Excuse me, sir? Uh... I have a message for you. MAN: What? FLIGHT ATTENDANT: It's from Rachel. She said that she loved the present, and she will see you when you get back. MAN: Toby... Oh, for God's sake, I don't know what she's talking about! There's no Rachel! Don't give me that deep freeze. MELANIE: Oooh, I gotta tell you... you are nothing like I thought you would be. JOEY: How do you mean? MELANIE: I don't know, I - I guess I just had you pegged as one of those guys who're always 'me, me, me.' But you... you're a giver. You're like the most generous man I ever met. I mean... you're practically a woman. RACHEL: I don't know, I mean, this is just my initial gut feeling... but I'm thinking... oh, I'm thinking it'd be really great. MONICA: Oh my God, me too! Oh! Oh, we'd be like friends-in-law! Y'know what the best part is? The best part is that you already know everything about him! I mean, it's like starting on the fifteenth date! PHOEBE: Yeah, but, y'know, it's... it would be like starting on the fifteenth date. MONICA: Another good point. PHOEBE: Well, I mean, then what happens if it doesn't work out? MONICA: Why isn't it working out? RACHEL: I don't know... sometimes it doesn't. MONICA: Is he not cute enough for you? RACHEL: No! MONICA: Does he not make enough money? RACHEL: No, I'm just... PHOEBE: Maybe there's someone else. RACHEL: Wha-- MONICA: Is there? Is there someone else? RACHEL: No! There is.. there is no one else! MONICA: Then why the hell are you dumping my brother?!? CHANDLER: So how'd it go? JOEY: Oh, it was amazing. You know how you always think you're great in bed? CHANDLER: The fact that you'd even ask that question shows how little you know me. JOEY: Well, it's like, last night, I couldn't do the thing that usually makes me great. So I had to do all this other stuff. And the response I got... man, oh man, it was like a ticker tape parade! CHANDLER: Yes, I know, as it happens my room is very very close to the parade route. JOEY: It was amazing! And not just for her... uh-uh. For me, too. It's like, all of a sudden, I'm blind. But all my other senses are heightened, y'know? It's like... I was able to appreciate it on another level. CHANDLER: I didn't know you had another level. JOEY: I know! Neither did I! MONICA: Hey, great skirt! Birthday present? RACHEL: Yeah. MONICA: Oh, from who? RACHEL: From you. I exchanged the blouse you got me. MONICA: Well, it's the thought. JOEY: Seven hundred bucks! CHANDLER: Alright, you did it! Do we have any fruit? JOEY: Man, hell of a two weeks, huh? Y'know what, though? I really feel like I learned something. CHANDLER: Really? So, you're gonna stick with this 'it's all for her' thing? JOEY: What, are you crazy? When a blind man gets his sight back, does he walk around like this? RACHEL: Ross, you're like my best friend. ROSS: I know. RACHEL: If we broke up, and I lost you... ROSS: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What makes you think we're gonna break up? RACHEL: Well, have you been involved with someone where you haven't broken up? ROSS: I cannot wait for you to meet my friends. JULIE: Really? ROSS: Yeah. JULIE: You don't think they'll judge and ridicule me? ROSS: No, no, they will. I just... uh... ROSS/JULIE: Can't wait. ROSS: Come on, they're gonna love you.
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transcribed by Dan Silverstein
52007
