The One With Five Steaks And An Eggplant (205)
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Season 1 Where Monica Gets A New Roomate With The Sonogram At The End With The Thumb With George Stephanoloulos With The East German Laundry Detergent With The Butt With The Blackout Where Nana Dies Twice Where Underdog Gets Away With The Monkey With Mrs.Bing With The Dozen Lasagnes With The Boobies With The Candy Hearts With The Stoned Guy With Two Parts, Part 1 With Two Parts, Part 2 With All The Poker Where The Monkey Gets Away With The Evil Orthodontist With The Fake Monica With The Ick Factor With The Birth Where Rachel Finds Out Season 2 With Ross' New Girlfriend With The Breast Milk Where Heckles Dies With Phoebe's Husband With Five Steaks And An Eggplant With The Baby On The Bus Where Ross Finds Out With The List With Phoebe's Dad With Russ With The Lesbian Wedding After The Superbowl, Part 1 After The Superbowl, Part 2 With The Prom Video Where Ross And Rachel... You Know Where Joey Moves Out Where Eddie Moves In Where Dr.Remore Dies Where Eddie Won't Go Where Old Yeller Dies With The Two Bullies With The Two Parties With The Chickenpox With Barry And Mindy's Wedding Season 3 With The Princess Leia Fantasy Where No-One's Ready With The Jam With The Metaphorical Tunnel With Frank Jnr With The Flashback With The Race Car Bed With The Giant Poking Device With The Football Where Rachel Quits Where Chandler Can`t Remember Which Sister With All The Jealousy Where Monica And Richard Are Friends With Phoebe's Ex-Partner Where Ross And Rachel Take A Break With The Morning After With The Ski Trip With The Hypnosis Tape With The Tiny T-Shirt With The Dollhouse With The Chick and the Duck With The Screamer With Ross's Thing With The Ultimate Fighting Champion At The Beach Season 4 With The Jellyfish With The Cat With The 'Cuffs With The Ballroom Dancing With Joey's New Girlfriend With The Dirty Girl Where Chandler Crosses The Line With Chandler In A Box Where They're Gonna Party! With The Girl From Poughkeepsie With Phoebe's Uterus With The Embryos With Rachel's Crush With Joey's Dirty Day With All The Rugby With The Fake Party With The Free Porn With Rachel's New Dress With All The Haste With All The Wedding Dresses With The Invitation With The Worst Best Man Ever With Ross`s Wedding Part I and II Season 5 After Ross Said Rachel With All The Kissing Hundredth Where Phoebe Hates PBS With All The Kips With The Yeti Where Ross Moves In With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks With Ross's Sandwich With The Inappropriate Sister With All The Resolutions With Chandler's Work Laugh With Joey's Bag Where Everyone Finds Out With The Girl Who Hits Joey With A Cop With Rachel's Inadvertant Kiss Where Rachel Smokes Where Ross Can't Flirt With The Ride Along With The Ball With Joey's Big Break In Vegas (Season Finale/Hour Long Episode) Season 6 After Vegas Where Ross Hugs Rachel With Ross's Denial Where Joey Loses His Insurance With Joey's Porsche With The Last Night Where Phoebe Runs With Ross's Teeth Where Ross Got High With The Routine With The Apothecary Table With The Joke With Rachels Sister Where Chandler Can't Cry That Could Have Been (Parts 1 & 2) With The Unagi Where Ross Dates A Student With Joey's Fridge With Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. Where Ross Meets Elizabeth's Dad Where Paul's The Man With The Ring With The Proposal(Season Finale) With Monica\'s Thunder With Rachel's Book With Phoebe's Cookies With Rachel's Assistant With The Engagement Picture With The Nap Partners With Ross's Library Book Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs With All The Candy With The Holiday Armadilio With All The Cheesecakes Where They're Up All Night Where Rosita Dies Where They All Turn Thirty With Joey's New Brain With The Truth About London With The Cheap Wedding Dress With Joey's Award With Ross and Monica's Cousin With Rachel's Big Kiss With The Vows With Chandler's Dad Season 8 After 'I Do' With The Red Sweater Where Rachel Tells... With The Videotape With Rachel's Date With The Halloween Party |
JADE: So, are we gonna get together or what? CHANDLER: Um, absolutely. Uh, how 'bout tomorrow afternoon? Do you know uh, Central Perk in the Village, say, five-ish? JADE: Great, I'll see you then. CHANDLER: Ok. Ok. Having a phone has finally paid off. ROSS: Even though you do do a good Bob impression, I'm thinkin' when she sees you tomorow, she's probably gonna realize, "hey, you're not Bob." CHANDLER: I'm hoping that when Bob doesn't show up, she will seek comfort in the open arms of the wry stranger at the next table. ROSS: Oh my god. You are pure evil. CHANDLER: Ok, pure evil, horny and alone. I've done this. CHANDLER: Ok, while Ross is on the phone, everybody owes me 62 bucks for his birthday. PHOEBE: Um, is, is there any chance that you're rounding up? You know, like from, like 20? RACHEL: So uh, what are you guys doing for dinner tonight? JOEY: Well I guess I gotta start savin' up for Ross's birthday, so I guess I'll just stay home and eat dust bunnies. PHOEBE: Can you believe how much this is gonna cost? RACHEL: Do you guys ever get the feeling that um, Chandler and those guys just don't get that we don't make as much money as they do? JOEY: Yes! Yeah, it's like they're always saying "let's go here, let's go there". Like we can afford to go here and there. PHOEBE: Yes, yes, and it's, and we always have to go to, you know, someplace nice, you know? God, and it's not like we can say anything about it, 'cause, like this birthday thing, it's for Ross. JOEY: For Ross. RACHEL: For Ross, Ross, Ross. MONICA: I'm at work, ordinary day, you know, chop chop chop, saute, saute, saute. All of a sudden, Leon, the manager, calls me into his office. It turns out they fired the head lunch chef, and guess who got the job. JOEY: If it's not you, this is a horrible story. MONICA: Fortunately, it is me. And, they made me head of purchasing, thank you very much. Anyway, I just ran into Ross and Chandler downstairs, and they think we should go out and celebrate. You know, someplace nice. JOEY: Yeah, some place nice. How much do you think I can get for my kidney? ROSS: I'm tellin' you. You can't do this. CHANDLER: Oh, come on. I can never get a girl like that with conventional methods. ROSS: That doesn't matter. She wanted to call Bob. Hey, for all we know, Bob is who she was meant to be with. You may be destroying two people's chance for happiness. CHANDLER: We don't know Bob, ok? We know me. We like me. Please let me be happy. ROSS: Ok, ok, here is to my sister, the newly-appointed head lunch chef-- MONICA: Who is also in charge of purchasing. ROSS: Newly appointed head lunch chef who is also in charge of purchasing-- MONICA: Who has her own little desk when Roland's not there. ROSS: Uh, lunch chef, purchasing, own little desk when Roland's not there. Here's to my little sister-- WAITER: Are we ready to order? RACHEL: Oh, you know what, we haven't even looked yet. WAITER: Well, when you do, just let me know. I'll be right over there on the edge of my seat. PHOEBE: Wow, look at these prices. RACHEL: Yeah, these are pretty ch-ching. JOEY: What are these, like famous chickens? WAITER: Do I dare ask? MONICA: Yes, I will start with the carpaccio, and then I'll have the grilled prawns. ROSS: That sounds great. Same for me. WAITER: And for the gentleman? JOEY: Yeah, I'll have the Thai chicken pizza. But, hey, look, if I get it without the nuts and leeks and stuff, is it cheaper? WAITER: You'd think, wouldn't you?.....Miss? RACHEL: Ok, I will have the uh, side salad. WAITER: And what will that be on the side of? RACHEL: Uh, I don't know. Why don't you put it right here next to my water? WAITER: And for you? PHOEBE: Um, I'm gonna have a cup of the cucumber soup, and, um, take care. CHANDLER: I will have the uh, Cajun catfish. WAITER: Anything else? CHANDLER: Yes, how 'bout a verse of Killing Me Softly. You're gonna sneeze on my fish, aren't you? ROSS: I, I just never think of money as an issue. RACHEL: That's 'cause you have it. ROSS: That's a good point. ROSS: Chandler! CHANDLER: Yeah? ROSS: Geez! Are you ready? CHANDLER: Yeah. Just let me grab my jacket and tell you I had sex today. ROSS: Whoa! You had sex today? CHANDLER: Wow, it sounds even cooler when somebody else says it. I was awesome, ok? She was biting her lip to stop from screaming. ROSS: Wow. CHANDLER: Now I know it's been awhile, but I took it as a good sign. JADE: Hey, Bob, it's Jade. Listen, I just wanted to tell you that I was really hurt when you didn't show up the other day, and just so you know, I ended up meeting a guy. CHANDLER: Bob here. JADE: Oh, hi. CHANDLER: So, uh, you met someone, huh? JADE: Yes, yes, I did. In fact, I had sex with him 2 hours ago. CHANDLER: So, uh, how was he? JADE: Eh. CHANDLER: Eh? JADE: Oh, Bob, he was nothing compared to you. I had to bite my lip to keep from screaming your name. CHANDLER: Well, that makes me feel so good. CHANDLER: I don't know what to say. I'm sorry that we make more money than you. But we're not gonna feel guilty about it. We work really hard for it. JOEY: And we don't work hard? CHANDLER: I'm just saying that sometimes we like to do stuff that costs a little more. JOEY: And you feel like we hold you back. CHANDLER: Yes. WAITRESS: Here's your check. That'll be $4.12. JOEY: Let me get that. You got five bucks?
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transcribed by Mindy Mattingly Phillips, Dan Silverstein
52230
