The One With The Dirty Girl (406)
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Season 1 Where Monica Gets A New Roomate With The Sonogram At The End With The Thumb With George Stephanoloulos With The East German Laundry Detergent With The Butt With The Blackout Where Nana Dies Twice Where Underdog Gets Away With The Monkey With Mrs.Bing With The Dozen Lasagnes With The Boobies With The Candy Hearts With The Stoned Guy With Two Parts, Part 1 With Two Parts, Part 2 With All The Poker Where The Monkey Gets Away With The Evil Orthodontist With The Fake Monica With The Ick Factor With The Birth Where Rachel Finds Out Season 2 With Ross' New Girlfriend With The Breast Milk Where Heckles Dies With Phoebe's Husband With Five Steaks And An Eggplant With The Baby On The Bus Where Ross Finds Out With The List With Phoebe's Dad With Russ With The Lesbian Wedding After The Superbowl, Part 1 After The Superbowl, Part 2 With The Prom Video Where Ross And Rachel... You Know Where Joey Moves Out Where Eddie Moves In Where Dr.Remore Dies Where Eddie Won't Go Where Old Yeller Dies With The Two Bullies With The Two Parties With The Chickenpox With Barry And Mindy's Wedding Season 3 With The Princess Leia Fantasy Where No-One's Ready With The Jam With The Metaphorical Tunnel With Frank Jnr With The Flashback With The Race Car Bed With The Giant Poking Device With The Football Where Rachel Quits Where Chandler Can`t Remember Which Sister With All The Jealousy Where Monica And Richard Are Friends With Phoebe's Ex-Partner Where Ross And Rachel Take A Break With The Morning After With The Ski Trip With The Hypnosis Tape With The Tiny T-Shirt With The Dollhouse With The Chick and the Duck With The Screamer With Ross's Thing With The Ultimate Fighting Champion At The Beach Season 4 With The Jellyfish With The Cat With The 'Cuffs With The Ballroom Dancing With Joey's New Girlfriend With The Dirty Girl Where Chandler Crosses The Line With Chandler In A Box Where They're Gonna Party! With The Girl From Poughkeepsie With Phoebe's Uterus With The Embryos With Rachel's Crush With Joey's Dirty Day With All The Rugby With The Fake Party With The Free Porn With Rachel's New Dress With All The Haste With All The Wedding Dresses With The Invitation With The Worst Best Man Ever With Ross`s Wedding Part I and II Season 5 After Ross Said Rachel With All The Kissing Hundredth Where Phoebe Hates PBS With All The Kips With The Yeti Where Ross Moves In With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks With Ross's Sandwich With The Inappropriate Sister With All The Resolutions With Chandler's Work Laugh With Joey's Bag Where Everyone Finds Out With The Girl Who Hits Joey With A Cop With Rachel's Inadvertant Kiss Where Rachel Smokes Where Ross Can't Flirt With The Ride Along With The Ball With Joey's Big Break In Vegas (Season Finale/Hour Long Episode) Season 6 After Vegas Where Ross Hugs Rachel With Ross's Denial Where Joey Loses His Insurance With Joey's Porsche With The Last Night Where Phoebe Runs With Ross's Teeth Where Ross Got High With The Routine With The Apothecary Table With The Joke With Rachels Sister Where Chandler Can't Cry That Could Have Been (Parts 1 & 2) With The Unagi Where Ross Dates A Student With Joey's Fridge With Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. Where Ross Meets Elizabeth's Dad Where Paul's The Man With The Ring With The Proposal(Season Finale) With Monica\'s Thunder With Rachel's Book With Phoebe's Cookies With Rachel's Assistant With The Engagement Picture With The Nap Partners With Ross's Library Book Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs With All The Candy With The Holiday Armadilio With All The Cheesecakes Where They're Up All Night Where Rosita Dies Where They All Turn Thirty With Joey's New Brain With The Truth About London With The Cheap Wedding Dress With Joey's Award With Ross and Monica's Cousin With Rachel's Big Kiss With The Vows With Chandler's Dad Season 8 After 'I Do' With The Red Sweater Where Rachel Tells... With The Videotape With Rachel's Date With The Halloween Party |
CHANDLER: Where did you, when did you, how did you... How did you get a girl like that? RACHEL: Yeah, so what is she, like a... like a spokesmodel, or an aerobics instructor, what? ROSS: Actually she's a paleontology doctoral candidate, specializing in the centazoic era. CHANDLER: Okay, but that's, like, the easiest era. RACHEL: Well maybe she and her friends are just having a contest to see who can bring home the biggest geek. ROSS: Fine by me; hope she wins. CHANDLER: Hi. You guys have any wrapping paper? PHOEBE: Oo! Is it for my birthday present? ... CHANDLER: Actually, this is for Kathy's birthday. It's an early edition of her favorite book. RACHEL: Oh, The Velveteen Rabbit! Oh my God, when the boy's love makes the rabbit real! CHANDLER: Okay, but don't touch it, because you fingers have destructive oils. RACHEL: Huh. Well, then you'd better keep it away from Ross's hair. So this is pretty rare. How did you get that? CHANDLER: Oh, it wasn't a big deal. I just went to a couple of bookstores, talked to a couple of dealers... called a couple of the author's grandchildren. RACHEL: Oh, honey, that's so sweet. PHOEBE: Yeah, and what a great way to say, "I secretly love you, roommate's girlfriend!" CHANDLER: It doesn't say that. Does it? ROSS: How do you think it's gonna look when you get her something incredibly meaningful and expensive and her boyfriend Joey gives her an orange? CHANDLER: Okay, all right, I'll just uh, make sure that uh, Joey gets her something really great. PHOEBE: It's gotta be better than that book. Oo! Like a crossbow! CHANDLER: Hey Joe! What are you getting Kathy for her birthday? JOEY: We've only been going out for a couple of weeks, do you think I gotta get her something? EVERYONE: Yeah! RACHEL: Yes, you have to get her something, and it should be something really nice. JOEY: Oh, I know... RACHEL: And not one of your coupons for an hour of "Joey Love." CHERYL: Here Mitzi! Here Mitzi! ROSS: Mitzi is..... CHERYL: My hamster. I hope she's okay, I haven't seen her in a while. Have a seat. ROSS: Uh... Oh hey, do you, uh... do you have any, um, Cinnamon Fruit Toasties? CHERYL: What? ROSS: Well, I do! Why don't we go back to my place, light a couple of candles, break open a box of Cinnamon Fruit Toasties, uh... CHERYL: I'd rather not. ROSS: Oh, yeah, why not? CHERYL: Okay, um, don't take this the wrong way, but your place kinda has a weird smell. RACHEL: You know what we should all do? Go see a musical. CHANDLER: Sure... RACHEL: And you know which one we should see? The 1996 Tony award winner. Do you happen to know the name of that one? CHANDLER: I don't know... um, Grease? RACHEL: No.... CHANDLER: Rent? RACHEL: Yes! Rent! CHANDLER: Okay, so when do you want to go? RACHEL: What? Oh, I'm sorry, I can't, I'm busy. JOEY: Hey. Man, it is so hard to shop for girls. CHANDLER: Yes, it is, at Office Max. RACHEL: What did you get her? CHANDLER: A pen. JOEY: It's two gifts in one. It's a pen that's also a clock! Huh? CHANDLER: Huh-huh! You can't give her that. JOEY: Why not? CHANDLER: Because she's not eleven! And it's not the seventh night of Hanukkah! RACHEL: Okay, honey, what he means by that, is ...while this is a very nice gift, maybe it's just not something a boyfriend gives? JOEY: Sure it is! She needs a pen for work, she's writing, she turns it over... "Whoa! It's time for my date with Joey!" CHANDLER: All right, look, look. What did... what did you get for Angela Delveccio for her birthday? JOEY: She didn't have a birthday while we were going out. CHANDLER: For three years? JOEY: Look, it's too late, and I got an audition. I can't shop anymore! I... CHANDLER: All right. I will go out and I will try to find something for her, okay? JOEY: Thanks, man. And oh, while you're at it, could you get her a card? CHANDLER: Would you like me to write her a little poem as well? JOEY: Or... just get a card that has a poem already in it. JOEY: So, you just left? Her place was really that bad? ROSS: You know how you throw your jacket on a chair at the end of the day? JOEY: Yeah. ROSS: Well, like that, only instead of a chair, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of a jacket, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of the end of the day, it's the end of time, and garbage is all that has survived! JOEY: So, uh, what happened? ROSS: What do you mean? Nothing happened! I had to get out of there. JOEY: All right, so... next time, you take her to your place. ROSS: No, I tried that. She says it has a weird smell. JOEY: What kind of smell? ROSS: I don't know. Soap? RACHEL: All right, look. Why don't you just return the book, let Joey give her the clock pen, and you give her something worse than that. Like... a regular pen. JOEY: Hey! I'm meeting Kathy in ten minutes! I've been looking all over for you! CHANDLER: Where? JOEY: Our place, the hall! I... CHANDLER: I got something for her. It's a book! JOEY: A book? Is it like a book that's also a safe? CHANDLER: No, it's a book that's just a book, okay? It's an early edition of the Velveteen Rabbit. It was her favorite book as a kid. So, uh, just... let me know if she likes it, okay? JOEY: You got it. Thanks man. Thanks for doing this, I owe you one. Oh, hey! There wasn't any change from that twenty, was there? CHANDLER: No, it came out to an even twenty. JOEY: Wow. That's almost as much as a new book. CHERYL: Wait! No! No! It's my hamster! It's Mitzi! ROSS: Oh my god! I'm so sorry, Cheryl. I must have freaked out. CHERYL: Oh, thank god, it's not Mitzi. It's just a rat. KATHY: Um, thank you for the gift. CHANDLER: Oh, uh, yeah... I just knew that sometimes when you're writing, you... you don't always know the exact time. KATHY: No, I... I didn't mean the pen. Thank you for the book. CHANDLER: Uh, the book? KATHY: The Velveteen Rabbit. I kinda have the feeling you had something to do with it. CHANDLER: What do you mean? KATHY: Well, uh, when Joey gave it to me, he said, "This is 'cause I know ya like Rabbits, and I know ya like cheese."
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transcribed by Maree Hilton
51761
