The One With Chandler In A Box (408)

written by Michael Borkow

Season 1
Where Monica Gets A New Roomate
With The Sonogram At The End
With The Thumb
With George Stephanoloulos
With The East German Laundry Detergent
With The Butt
With The Blackout
Where Nana Dies Twice
Where Underdog Gets Away
With The Monkey
With Mrs.Bing
With The Dozen Lasagnes
With The Boobies
With The Candy Hearts
With The Stoned Guy
With Two Parts, Part 1
With Two Parts, Part 2
With All The Poker
Where The Monkey Gets Away
With The Evil Orthodontist
With The Fake Monica
With The Ick Factor
With The Birth
Where Rachel Finds Out

Season 2
With Ross' New Girlfriend
With The Breast Milk
Where Heckles Dies
With Phoebe's Husband
With Five Steaks And An Eggplant
With The Baby On The Bus
Where Ross Finds Out
With The List
With Phoebe's Dad
With Russ
With The Lesbian Wedding
After The Superbowl, Part 1
After The Superbowl, Part 2
With The Prom Video
Where Ross And Rachel... You Know
Where Joey Moves Out
Where Eddie Moves In
Where Dr.Remore Dies
Where Eddie Won't Go
Where Old Yeller Dies
With The Two Bullies
With The Two Parties
With The Chickenpox
With Barry And Mindy's Wedding

Season 3
With The Princess Leia Fantasy
Where No-One's Ready
With The Jam
With The Metaphorical Tunnel
With Frank Jnr
With The Flashback
With The Race Car Bed
With The Giant Poking Device
With The Football
Where Rachel Quits
Where Chandler Can`t Remember Which Sister
With All The Jealousy
Where Monica And Richard Are Friends
With Phoebe's Ex-Partner
Where Ross And Rachel Take A Break
With The Morning After
With The Ski Trip
With The Hypnosis Tape
With The Tiny T-Shirt
With The Dollhouse
With The Chick and the Duck
With The Screamer
With Ross's Thing
With The Ultimate Fighting Champion
At The Beach

Season 4
With The Jellyfish
With The Cat
With The 'Cuffs
With The Ballroom Dancing
With Joey's New Girlfriend
With The Dirty Girl
Where Chandler Crosses The Line
With Chandler In A Box
Where They're Gonna Party!
With The Girl From Poughkeepsie
With Phoebe's Uterus
With The Embryos
With Rachel's Crush
With Joey's Dirty Day
With All The Rugby
With The Fake Party
With The Free Porn
With Rachel's New Dress
With All The Haste
With All The Wedding Dresses
With The Invitation
With The Worst Best Man Ever
With Ross`s Wedding Part I and II

Season 5
After Ross Said Rachel
With All The Kissing
Where Phoebe Hates PBS
With All The Kips
With The Yeti
Where Ross Moves In
With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks
With Ross's Sandwich
With The Inappropriate Sister
With All The Resolutions
With Chandler's Work Laugh
With Joey's Bag
Where Everyone Finds Out
With The Girl Who Hits Joey
With A Cop
With Rachel's Inadvertant Kiss
Where Rachel Smokes
Where Ross Can't Flirt
With The Ride Along
With The Ball
With Joey's Big Break
In Vegas (Season Finale/Hour Long Episode)

Season 6
After Vegas
Where Ross Hugs Rachel
With Ross's Denial
Where Joey Loses His Insurance
With Joey's Porsche
With The Last Night
Where Phoebe Runs
With Ross's Teeth
Where Ross Got High
With The Routine
With The Apothecary Table
With The Joke
With Rachels Sister
Where Chandler Can't Cry
That Could Have Been (Parts 1 & 2)
With The Unagi
Where Ross Dates A Student
With Joey's Fridge
With Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.
Where Ross Meets Elizabeth's Dad
Where Paul's The Man
With The Ring
With The Proposal(Season Finale)

With Monica\'s Thunder
With Rachel's Book
With Phoebe's Cookies
With Rachel's Assistant
With The Engagement Picture
With The Nap Partners
With Ross's Library Book
Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs
With All The Candy
With The Holiday Armadilio
With All The Cheesecakes
Where They're Up All Night
Where Rosita Dies
Where They All Turn Thirty
With Joey's New Brain
With The Truth About London
With The Cheap Wedding Dress
With Joey's Award
With Ross and Monica's Cousin
With Rachel's Big Kiss
With The Vows
With Chandler's Dad

Season 8
After 'I Do'
With The Red Sweater
Where Rachel Tells...
With The Videotape
With Rachel's Date
With The Halloween Party
CHANDLER: Hey, by any chance did either of pick uh Rachel for your secret Santa, 'cause I wanna trade for her.

PHOEBE: I picked her! Oh thank God you want her! Ooh!

CHANDLER: Wow! Why do you want to get rid of her so badly?

PHOEBE: Because she exchanges every gift she ever gets, it's like impossible to get her something she likes. Come on, let's trade!

CHANDLER: Oh that's not true! That's not true! I got her that backpack and she loved it! I remember how much she was crying the day when that big dog ran off with it. Oh, there was no big dog. All right this sucks! I already got her this briefcase, and I had R.G. put on it. Her initials.


MONICA: Well, maybe you could give to somebody else. Ooh, like Ross Geller.

CHANDLER: Op, y'know what though, it's kind've a girlie briefcase.

MONICA: Who cares? He works in a museum!

PHOEBE: God, what happened?!

MONICA: Oh my God, ice just got in my eye!

RACHEL: People are trying to sleep in here!

CHANDLER: Monica got ice in her eye, and it hurts.

PHOEBE: Open it up, let me see.

MONICA: Oh, y'know what, I can't, it really kills.

CHANDLER: Well maybe you should put some ice on it.

ROSS: So listen ah, I picked Monica for secret Santa, but I'm already getting her something for Chanukah, I was wondering if you wanna switch.

CHANDLER: Oh y'know what, I was already trying to trade for ah, well, you.

ROSS: Really?! Wow! That's-that's so nice, what are you gonna get me?

CHANDLER: I don't know R.G., I was thinking something girlie for your office.

ROSS: Yeah, well maybe Phoebe will switch with me.

CHANDLER: Oh no-no-no, you don't want to do that, then you're gonna get stuck with Rachel and she exchanges every gift she ever gets.

ROSS: Oh, that's not true! I've got her lots of stuff she never took back.


ROSS: Like uh, that gold necklace I got her last year.

CHANDLER: When was the last time you saw her wear it?

ROSS: Well, she wore it all Christmas day, and then uh....

CHANDLER: Big dog?

ROSS: What are you doing?

JOEY: I'm sending back all this stuff that Chandler bought out of guilt.

ROSS: Everything? Even the TV?

JOEY: No! I'm putting that in my room.

ROSS: Listen, Joey, I know what he did was wrong but don't you think you could at least hear the guy out?

JOEY: Back when you and Rachel were together, if Chandler had kissed her, would you hear him out?

ROSS: That's a good point. So uh, how long are you gonna punish him?

JOEY: Five years.

ROSS: You've sentenced him?!

JOEY: Hey! Don't do the crime if you can't do the time.

KATHY: Oh my God, is it really that bad?

CHANDLER: I walk into a room and he won't even talk to me, he just mumbles something in Italian. And I know he only knows the bad words.

JOEY: Hey Gunther, have you uh, have you seen Chandler?

GUNTHER: I thought you were Chandler.

ROSS: He's coming here for Thanksgiving!

RACHEL: I know, it's sick.

MONICA: Why is it sick?

RACHEL: Because it's Richard's son! It's like inviting Greek tragedy over for dinner!

MONICA: Hey, come on, Phoebe, you understand don't you?

PHOEBE: Yeah, I can see where I'd be your best shot but, no. I'm sorry, but I think it's twisted.

ROSS: Yeah.

JOEY: What's twisted?

MONICA: Me going out with Richard's son.

JOEY: Ewwwww!! Ew! Ew! Ew!

ROSS: Hey, y'know, Mon, if things wrong out between you and Richard's son, you'd be able to tell your kids, that you slept with their grandfather.

MONICA: Fine! Judge all you want to but, married a lesbian, left a man at the altar, fell in love with a gay ice dancer, threw a girl's wooden leg in a fire, livin' in a box!!!

RACHEL: So now, what exactly is the point of the box?

JOEY: Chandler?

CHANDLER: The meaning of the box is three fold. One , it gives me the time to think about what I did. Two, it proves how much I care about my friendship with Joey. And three, it hurts!

ROSS: Oh hey! Hey uh, you remember the necklace I gave you last year? Can I see it?


ROSS: I just wanna check something.

RACHEL: Okay. Here it is! I love it. I wear it all the time.

ROSS: The necklace I got you was gold, this one is silver.

RACHEL: Huh, well maybe it uh, it changed.

ROSS: Oh my God! You actually exchanged it!

RACHEL: Well isn't it better that I exchanged it for something that I enjoy and that I can get a lot of use out of?

ROSS: What did you get?

RACHEL: Credit.

MONICA: See he's nice. Right?

PHOEBE: Yeah, but Monica, do you actually want to be in a relationship where you can actually use the phrase, "That's not how your dad used to do it."

RACHEL: Don't say that I have no sentiment! This is a movie stub from our first date! This is an eggshell from the first time you made me breakfast in bed! This is from the museum from the first time we were together. Okay, maybe I exchange gifts sometimes, but I keep the things that matter!

ROSS: I don't know what to say, I'm sorry. Though, you're not supposed to take these. It's like a million years old, we, we actually, we had people looking for that.

KATHY: Hey. Listen, I want you to know how sorry I am.

JOEY: That's okay. Chandler's the one I'm mad at.

KATHY: Well, I'm still sorry. Is he here?

JOEY: In the box.

KATHY: Chandler?

PHOEBE: Oh, he-he can't talk right now.

KATHY: Why not? What's going on?

PHOEBE: He's just trying to show Joey how much he means to him.

KATHY: By being in a box?

RACHEL: Joey, had reasons.

PHOEBE: They were threefold.

KATHY: Oh. Well uh, you not being able to talk may make this easier. Listen umm... Listen I don't wanna be someone who comes between two best friends. I just, I can't stand seeing what this is doing to you guys, and I don't wanna be the cause of that. So, I don't think we can see each other anymore. I'm gonna go to my mom's in Chicago, I'm gonna stay there for awhile. I think this could've be something really amazing, but y'know this is probably for the best. Y'know? I'm gonna miss you. Good-bye, Chandler.

JOEY: Open the box!!!

RACHEL: What?!

JOEY: He can still catch her! Come on, get out of there! Get out of there!


JOEY: Yeah, we're gonna be fine! Get out!


JOEY: Yeah, you did some real good thinkin' in there.

CHANDLER: Man, this is....

JOEY: Now go! 'Cause you can still catch her! And Merry Christmas from you're secret Santa!

JOEY: All right, who got Chandler? 'Cause I uh, need to trade.

RACHEL: Oh, he sees her!

MONICA: Oh, he's catching up to her!

PHOEBE: Oh, she sees him! Oh, they're hugging!

ROSS: He's taking her purse!

JOEY: Uhh, that's not them. I'm gonna go call the police.

transcribed by Eric Aasen