The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Break (315)

written by Michael Borkow

Season 1
Where Monica Gets A New Roomate
With The Sonogram At The End
With The Thumb
With George Stephanoloulos
With The East German Laundry Detergent
With The Butt
With The Blackout
Where Nana Dies Twice
Where Underdog Gets Away
With The Monkey
With Mrs.Bing
With The Dozen Lasagnes
With The Boobies
With The Candy Hearts
With The Stoned Guy
With Two Parts, Part 1
With Two Parts, Part 2
With All The Poker
Where The Monkey Gets Away
With The Evil Orthodontist
With The Fake Monica
With The Ick Factor
With The Birth
Where Rachel Finds Out

Season 2
With Ross' New Girlfriend
With The Breast Milk
Where Heckles Dies
With Phoebe's Husband
With Five Steaks And An Eggplant
With The Baby On The Bus
Where Ross Finds Out
With The List
With Phoebe's Dad
With Russ
With The Lesbian Wedding
After The Superbowl, Part 1
After The Superbowl, Part 2
With The Prom Video
Where Ross And Rachel... You Know
Where Joey Moves Out
Where Eddie Moves In
Where Dr.Remore Dies
Where Eddie Won't Go
Where Old Yeller Dies
With The Two Bullies
With The Two Parties
With The Chickenpox
With Barry And Mindy's Wedding

Season 3
With The Princess Leia Fantasy
Where No-One's Ready
With The Jam
With The Metaphorical Tunnel
With Frank Jnr
With The Flashback
With The Race Car Bed
With The Giant Poking Device
With The Football
Where Rachel Quits
Where Chandler Can`t Remember Which Sister
With All The Jealousy
Where Monica And Richard Are Friends
With Phoebe's Ex-Partner
Where Ross And Rachel Take A Break
With The Morning After
With The Ski Trip
With The Hypnosis Tape
With The Tiny T-Shirt
With The Dollhouse
With The Chick and the Duck
With The Screamer
With Ross's Thing
With The Ultimate Fighting Champion
At The Beach

Season 4
With The Jellyfish
With The Cat
With The 'Cuffs
With The Ballroom Dancing
With Joey's New Girlfriend
With The Dirty Girl
Where Chandler Crosses The Line
With Chandler In A Box
Where They're Gonna Party!
With The Girl From Poughkeepsie
With Phoebe's Uterus
With The Embryos
With Rachel's Crush
With Joey's Dirty Day
With All The Rugby
With The Fake Party
With The Free Porn
With Rachel's New Dress
With All The Haste
With All The Wedding Dresses
With The Invitation
With The Worst Best Man Ever
With Ross`s Wedding Part I and II

Season 5
After Ross Said Rachel
With All The Kissing
Where Phoebe Hates PBS
With All The Kips
With The Yeti
Where Ross Moves In
With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks
With Ross's Sandwich
With The Inappropriate Sister
With All The Resolutions
With Chandler's Work Laugh
With Joey's Bag
Where Everyone Finds Out
With The Girl Who Hits Joey
With A Cop
With Rachel's Inadvertant Kiss
Where Rachel Smokes
Where Ross Can't Flirt
With The Ride Along
With The Ball
With Joey's Big Break
In Vegas (Season Finale/Hour Long Episode)

Season 6
After Vegas
Where Ross Hugs Rachel
With Ross's Denial
Where Joey Loses His Insurance
With Joey's Porsche
With The Last Night
Where Phoebe Runs
With Ross's Teeth
Where Ross Got High
With The Routine
With The Apothecary Table
With The Joke
With Rachels Sister
Where Chandler Can't Cry
That Could Have Been (Parts 1 & 2)
With The Unagi
Where Ross Dates A Student
With Joey's Fridge
With Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.
Where Ross Meets Elizabeth's Dad
Where Paul's The Man
With The Ring
With The Proposal(Season Finale)

With Monica\'s Thunder
With Rachel's Book
With Phoebe's Cookies
With Rachel's Assistant
With The Engagement Picture
With The Nap Partners
With Ross's Library Book
Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs
With All The Candy
With The Holiday Armadilio
With All The Cheesecakes
Where They're Up All Night
Where Rosita Dies
Where They All Turn Thirty
With Joey's New Brain
With The Truth About London
With The Cheap Wedding Dress
With Joey's Award
With Ross and Monica's Cousin
With Rachel's Big Kiss
With The Vows
With Chandler's Dad

Season 8
After 'I Do'
With The Red Sweater
Where Rachel Tells...
With The Videotape
With Rachel's Date
With The Halloween Party
JOEY: Hey, how much will you give me to eat this whole jar of olives?

MONICA: I won't give you anything, but you'll owe me $2.95.

JOEY: Done.

PHOEBE: Hey. I need an atlas! I need an atlas!

MONICA: Why? Do you have a report due?

PHOEBE: I have a date with this diplomat I met while I was giving free massages outside the UN and, I don't know where his country is.

MONICA: Okay, let's start with the free massages outside the UN.

PHOEBE: Oh!!! That's my new thing. I figure bodies at peace, make peace.

MONICA: Wow! You might just get the first Nobel prize in rubbing. So what country is this guy from?

PHOEBE: Ick-neck-tree-anis... There's a 'g' in there.

MONICA: Where's that?

PHOEBE: In your atlas!

MONICA: I don't have an atlas.


MONICA: Oh, but wait I do have a globe.

MONICA: 'Kay, here you go.

PHOEBE: What is this?

MONICA: It's a globe and, a pencil sharpener.

CHANDLER: Hey, does anybody need anything copied? I'm going down to the Xerox place.

MONICA: Oh, no thanks.

CHANDLER: Okay listen, just give me anything I can make two of.

MONICA: Well, if you don't have anything to copy, why are you going down there?

JOEY: Yeah, are you just going down there to gawk at that hot girl with the belly button ring again?

CHANDLER: Yeah! You wanna come?

JOEY: Yeah!

CHANDLER: Come on Chloe! Finish up with your customer first. Come on Chloe! Come on Chloe!!

ISSAC: Can I help you?


JOEY: Uh, y'know what, we're having second thoughts about our copying needs. And we'll need a little more time to think about it.

ISSAC: Chloe, switch with me, there's some guys here that got a crush on you.

CHANDLER: Okay, that hurt us.

CHLOE: Hi guys. I haven't seen you since this morning.

CHANDLER: Well ah... y'know.

CHLOE: Hey, what are you guys doing tomorrow night?

JOEY: Both of us?

CHLOE: Maybe. Does that scare ya?

PHOEBE: Anyway, I'm going out with Sergei again tonight, and um, could you come and be the translator's date? So that when we, it's time for our alone time, you two could split off. Y'know, he's really, he's kinda cute.

MONICA: Yeah, well kinda cute, like really kinda cute, or kinda cute like your friend Spackel Back Larry?

PHOEBE: Hey, don't call him that! His name is Spackel Back Harry!

CHANDLER: Hey, y'know what, maybe we should get going. I mean what time did Chloe say we should be there?

JOEY: Uh, 10:30.

CHANDLER: What time is it now?

JOEY: 4:30.

CHANDLER: Yeah all right, so we'll hang out.

JOEY: Yeah. Hey, remember when she brought up that thing about the three of us?

CHANDLER: Yes. Vividly.

JOEY: She was kidding about that right?

CHANDLER: Yeah, I-I-I think so. Yeah, I-I think so...

JOEY: God, that would be weird if that situation presented itself tonight, huh?

CHANDLER: Yeah. Yeah, I mean what, what would we do?

JOEY: Dude, I don't know.

CHANDLER: She was kidding.

JOEY: Yeah.

CHANDLER: She was... But y'know what, just in case, maybe we should come up with a set of ground rules.

JOEY: Yeah, for sure. Okay. Probably want the first thing to be, never open your eyes. Y'know, because you don't want to be doing something and then look up and see something you don't want to be seeing.

CHANDLER: Yeah. Good call, nice one. Hold it!! Hold it! What if my eyes are closed, and, and my hand is out there...

JOEY: Ah!!! Okay! Eyes open at all times! Oh, hey, how do we decide where we... y'know each would, y'know... be?

CHANDLER: Right. Right. Well ah, y'know we could flip for it.

JOEY: Yeah, I guess, but what's like heads and what's tails.

CHANDLER: Well it you don't know that, then I don't want to do this with you.

RACHEL: Ross you're not listening to me, I don't have time to stop.

ROSS: Come on Rach, you don't have what, ten minutes?

RACHEL: I don't have ten minutes!!

ROSS: What? Sophie, does she have ten minutes?

RACHEL: Hey, Ross!!! I told you I don't!

ROSS: Don't yell at me okay, this is the most I've seen you all week.

RACHEL: Look, I cannot do this right now, okay, I've got a deadline, would you just go home, I'll talk to you later.

ROSS: Yeah, but wait...

RACHEL: Good bye!

ROSS: Hey.

RACHEL: Hi. Look um, about what happened earlier...

ROSS: No, hey, well, I-I completely understand. You were, you were stressed.

RACHEL: I was gonna give you a chance to apologise to me.

ROSS: For what? For letting you throw me out of your office?

RACHEL: You had no right coming down to my office Ross. You do not bring a picnic basket to somebody's work! Unless maybe they were a park ranger!

ROSS: Yeah, well excuse me for wanting to be with my girlfriend on our anniversary, boy what an ass am I.

RACHEL: But I told you, I didn't have the time!

ROSS: Yeah, well you never have the time. I mean, I don't feel like I even have a girlfriend anymore, Rachel.

RACHEL: Wh, Ross what do you want from me? You want me, you want me to quit my job so you can feel like you have a girlfriend?

ROSS: No, but it'd be nice if you realised, it's just a job!

RACHEL: Just a job!

ROSS: Yes.

RACHEL: Ross do you realise this is the first time in my life I'm doing something I actually care about. This is the first time in my life I'm doing something that I'm actually good at. I mean. if you don't get that...

ROSS: No, hey, I get that, okay, I get that big time. And I'm happy for ya, but I'm tired of having a relationship with your answering machine! Okay, I don't know what to do anymore.

RACHEL: Well neither do I!

ROSS: Is this about Mark?

RACHEL: Oh my God.

ROSS: Okay, it's not, it's not.

RACHEL: Oh my God. I cannot keep having this same fight over and over again, Ross, no, you're, you're, you're making this too hard.

ROSS: Oh I'm, I'm making this too hard. Okay, what do you want me to do.

RACHEL: I don't know, I don't know. Look, maybe we should take a break.

ROSS: Okay, okay, fine, you're right. Let's ah, let's take a break, let's cool off, okay, let's get some frozen yogart, or something...

RACHEL: No. A break from us.

CHLOE: And the advances in collating in the past five years, I mean we just got in an X-5000, y'know. The X-5000 makes the X-50 look like a T-71.

MONICA: Oh, and I can also speak a little French. Voulez vous couchet avec moi, saiz soi. Why? What did I say?

MISCHA: Well, you just asked if I wanted to go to bed with you tonight.

MONICA: Oh my God! No wonder I get such great service at Cafe Maurice.

PHOEBE: Knock, knock, knock, knock, hi. Um, could you please tell Sergei that um, I was fascinated by what Boutros Boutros Gali said in the New York Times.

PHOEBE: You didn't say Boutros Boutros Gali.

MISCHA: Boutros Boutros Gali. He says he was too.

PHOEBE: Interesting.

PHOEBE: Monica, can I talk to you behind my menu, please. What are you doing?

MONICA: Well, I was having a conversation.

PHOEBE: Yeah but, Mischa is so interested in you, that Sergei and I haven't been able to say two words to each other.

MONICA: What do you want me to do? Just sit here silently while you three have a conversation?

PHOEBE: That would be great. Thank you.

RACHEL: Hello!

MARK: Oh, hi. It's Mark.


MARK: What? Is it my breath?

RACHEL: No! Sorry, I just thought you were somebody else. Hi!

MARK: Hi. Well, look, I was just gonna leave a message, isn't tonight your, your big anniversary dinner?

RACHEL: Yeah. Well, umm...

MARK: Rach, are you okay?

RACHEL: Yeah, I'm fine.

MARK: You wanna talk, I mean I can come over?

RACHEL: No! Really, no, please, please, that's, that's okay.

MARK: All right, all right, I'm coming over, and I'm bringing Chinese food.

RACHEL: Oh, yeah, I'm not, I'm not hungry.

MARK: It's for me.

RACHEL: Oh. Okay, bye.

JOEY: So what are you gonna do?

ROSS: What can I do? One person wants to break-up, you break-up.

CHANDLER: Hey, no way! Come on, this is you guys, call her and work it out.

ROSS: Oh come on, we just had this huge fight, all right, don't I have to wait a while?

CHANDLER: Hey, this isn't like swimming after you eat, pick up the phone!!!

CHANDLER: Y'know that whole swimming thing is a myth.

JOEY: Yeah, tell that to my Uncle Lenny.

CHANDLER: Why? What happened to him?

JOEY: Nothing, he's just really believes in that.

RACHEL: Oh, and then, we got into this big, stupid fight. I just, it was awful. I told him he treats me like a park ranger, or something, oh and then I told him I wanted to take a break, I don't want to take a break.

MARK: Wow. I'm sorry. Eggroll?

RACHEL: No. And then I called him, and he wasn't there.

MARK: Well, then he's, he's probably just, out.

RACHEL: Oh, thank you that's very helpful, I'm glad you came over.

RACHEL: Hello.

ROSS: Hi! It's me.

RACHEL: Hi! Oh, I'm so glad you called.

ROSS: Really? I've been thinking, this is crazy, I mean don't, don't you think we can work on this?

MARK: Hey, what do you want to drink?

ROSS: Who's that?

RACHEL: Nobody.

MARK: Is it okay if I finish the apple juice?

ROSS: Is that Mark?

RACHEL: Umm, honey, look he just came over to....

ROSS: Yeah! Got it!

MISCHA: And the vet said it was time. And so from half a world away, while my Mother held the phone to his ear, I said good bye to my dog,. In seven languages.

MONICA: Oh. Can I have a tissue?

PHOEBE: Oh, yeah, sure. I just hope you, hope you don't accidentally suck it up through your nose and choke on it.

transcribed by Eric B Aasen