The One With The Ski Trip (317)
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Season 1 Where Monica Gets A New Roomate With The Sonogram At The End With The Thumb With George Stephanoloulos With The East German Laundry Detergent With The Butt With The Blackout Where Nana Dies Twice Where Underdog Gets Away With The Monkey With Mrs.Bing With The Dozen Lasagnes With The Boobies With The Candy Hearts With The Stoned Guy With Two Parts, Part 1 With Two Parts, Part 2 With All The Poker Where The Monkey Gets Away With The Evil Orthodontist With The Fake Monica With The Ick Factor With The Birth Where Rachel Finds Out Season 2 With Ross' New Girlfriend With The Breast Milk Where Heckles Dies With Phoebe's Husband With Five Steaks And An Eggplant With The Baby On The Bus Where Ross Finds Out With The List With Phoebe's Dad With Russ With The Lesbian Wedding After The Superbowl, Part 1 After The Superbowl, Part 2 With The Prom Video Where Ross And Rachel... You Know Where Joey Moves Out Where Eddie Moves In Where Dr.Remore Dies Where Eddie Won't Go Where Old Yeller Dies With The Two Bullies With The Two Parties With The Chickenpox With Barry And Mindy's Wedding Season 3 With The Princess Leia Fantasy Where No-One's Ready With The Jam With The Metaphorical Tunnel With Frank Jnr With The Flashback With The Race Car Bed With The Giant Poking Device With The Football Where Rachel Quits Where Chandler Can`t Remember Which Sister With All The Jealousy Where Monica And Richard Are Friends With Phoebe's Ex-Partner Where Ross And Rachel Take A Break With The Morning After With The Ski Trip With The Hypnosis Tape With The Tiny T-Shirt With The Dollhouse With The Chick and the Duck With The Screamer With Ross's Thing With The Ultimate Fighting Champion At The Beach Season 4 With The Jellyfish With The Cat With The 'Cuffs With The Ballroom Dancing With Joey's New Girlfriend With The Dirty Girl Where Chandler Crosses The Line With Chandler In A Box Where They're Gonna Party! With The Girl From Poughkeepsie With Phoebe's Uterus With The Embryos With Rachel's Crush With Joey's Dirty Day With All The Rugby With The Fake Party With The Free Porn With Rachel's New Dress With All The Haste With All The Wedding Dresses With The Invitation With The Worst Best Man Ever With Ross`s Wedding Part I and II Season 5 After Ross Said Rachel With All The Kissing Hundredth Where Phoebe Hates PBS With All The Kips With The Yeti Where Ross Moves In With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks With Ross's Sandwich With The Inappropriate Sister With All The Resolutions With Chandler's Work Laugh With Joey's Bag Where Everyone Finds Out With The Girl Who Hits Joey With A Cop With Rachel's Inadvertant Kiss Where Rachel Smokes Where Ross Can't Flirt With The Ride Along With The Ball With Joey's Big Break In Vegas (Season Finale/Hour Long Episode) Season 6 After Vegas Where Ross Hugs Rachel With Ross's Denial Where Joey Loses His Insurance With Joey's Porsche With The Last Night Where Phoebe Runs With Ross's Teeth Where Ross Got High With The Routine With The Apothecary Table With The Joke With Rachels Sister Where Chandler Can't Cry That Could Have Been (Parts 1 & 2) With The Unagi Where Ross Dates A Student With Joey's Fridge With Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. Where Ross Meets Elizabeth's Dad Where Paul's The Man With The Ring With The Proposal(Season Finale) With Monica\'s Thunder With Rachel's Book With Phoebe's Cookies With Rachel's Assistant With The Engagement Picture With The Nap Partners With Ross's Library Book Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs With All The Candy With The Holiday Armadilio With All The Cheesecakes Where They're Up All Night Where Rosita Dies Where They All Turn Thirty With Joey's New Brain With The Truth About London With The Cheap Wedding Dress With Joey's Award With Ross and Monica's Cousin With Rachel's Big Kiss With The Vows With Chandler's Dad Season 8 After 'I Do' With The Red Sweater Where Rachel Tells... With The Videotape With Rachel's Date With The Halloween Party |
JOEY: Can I see the comics? CHANDLER: This is the New York Times. JOEY: Okay, may I see the comics? PHOEBE: Oh my God, this is like 60 Minutes, okay, when, when, at first you're really mad at that pharmaceutical company for making the drug and then y'know you just feel bad for the people because they needed to make their hair grow. CHANDLER: Y'know what this is like? This is like when my parents got divorced. Man, I hope Ross doesn't try to kidnap me after Cub Scouts. PHOEBE: Y'know I had a dream where Ross and Rachel were still together, they never broke up. And we were all just like hanging out, and everyone was happy... JOEY: I had the same dream! PHOEBE: Yeah, and nobody slept with that Xerox girl. JOEY: Oh, I had the opposite dream. RACHEL: Hey! MONICA: Let's get the show on it! RACHEL: Okay, let me just get a cup of coffee. MONICA: Oh Rachel, I know the best coffee house and it's sooo close. RACHEL: Closer than here? PHOEBE: Chandler what are you doing?! MONICA: Chandler!!! CHANDLER: Oh my God! JOEY: You're smoking again?! CHANDLER: Well, actually, yesterday I was smoking again. Today, I'm, I'm smoking still. RACHEL: Chandler! You're smoking? What are you doing?! CHANDLER: Hey, shut up!!! You're not my real Mom!!! JOEY: Hey, can you close that window Chandler? My nipples can cut glass over here! ROSS: What's going on? PHOEBE: Well, we were um, sorta invited to go skiing, y'know Rachel's sister's cabin. ROSS: So, for the whole weekend? MONICA: We're really sorry, but um, she did ask us first. ROSS: Yeah, that's okay, I mean if you guys all have to go away for the first weekend I'm alone by myself, y'know then I totally, totally understand. PHOEBE: Y'know what, I can stay, I'm gonna stay. 'Cause the last time I went skiing I was to afraid to jump off the chair lift, I just went around and around. JOEY: Uh, Pheebs we kinda need you to drive us all up there in your grandmother's cab, but y'know what, I'll stay. MONICA: Noo! I'll stay. He's my brother. ROSS: What a pity stay? MONICA: No! We're gonna have fun. We can make fudge! ROSS: Pity food? Y'know what that's okay, all right, I don't need any of you to stay, okay nobody stays. CHANDLER: Well, then, I might as well offer to stay. PHOEBE: Chandler!!! CHANDLER: What? PHOEBE: What does the sign say? CHANDLER: Beam me up Jesus. PHOEBE: No, the 'No Smoking' sign. There's no smoking in my Grandmother's cab. CHANDLER: Okay, well, then, I-I have to go to the bathroom. ALL: Oh! PHOEBE: Please! MONICA: No Chandler no! No unscheduled stops. You can go when we stop for gas. CHANDLER: Oh, come on, there's a rest stop right up there! Come on, I really have to goooooooooo. JOEY: Oh, now I have to go!!! PHOEBE: Aren't you gonna go? RACHEL: No. Thank you. MONICA: No, Rachel never pees in public restrooms. RACHEL: Well, they never have any paper in there y'know. So my rule is 'no tissue, no tuschy.' Well, if everybody's going. PHOEBE: No, y'know what don't close it - 'cause the... keys... are in there. CHANDLER: Oh, no-no-no-no-no-no!!! JOEY: What's going on? CHANDLER: My lighter's in there! CHANDLER: Damn! The tailpipe's not hot enough to light this! JOEY: Relax okay, I-I-I can get this open. Anybody have a coat hanger? CHANDLER: Oh I do! Op, no, wait a minute, I took it out of my shirt when I put it on this morning. JOEY: Look, I just need a wire something to jimmy it. Oh hey, one of you guys give me the underwire from your bra! MONICA: What?! RACHEL: What?! JOEY: Come on! Who has the biggest boobs? MONICA: Please!!! JOEY: Whoever has the biggest boobs, has the biggest bra, therefore has the biggest wire. THE GIRLS: No, not getting my bra! JOEY: If you wanna get back in the car, we need the wire, your call. PHOEBE: Okay, Monica's are the biggest. MONICA: These tiny, little non-breasts?! Please, it's gotta be Rachel. RACHEL: What, no, no, no, mine are deceptively small I mean, I-I-I actually sometimes, st-stuff my bra. MONICA: All right then, your bra would still be big. RACHEL: No, I stuff outside the bra. CHANDLER: Ladies, ladies, let's just compromise okay? Phoebe, Rachel take off Monica's bra. PHOEBE: Oh, no! RACHEL: What, what's it, what's going on? PHOEBE: Yeah, this has happened before. RACHEL: So you know how to fix it? PHOEBE: Yep. Put more gas in. MONICA: So the going for help went well? JOEY: Oh yeah, Smokey Joe here got half way to the highway and collapsed. CHANDLER: I have the lung capacity of a two year old. MONICA: Then why are you smoking? CHANDLER: Well it's very unsettling. PHOEBE: Listen Ross, we ran out of gas, and we don't know where we are, so we can't get a tow truck. ROSS: Oh, now you want a favour? PHOEBE: Yes, please. ROSS: Well, oh, I'm sorry your car broke down Pheebs, but I'm a little too busy with some of my real friends right now, but please call to let me know you got home safely okay? CAROL: Phoebe, hang on a second. Here, take my car, go pick up your friends. ROSS: No, I'm not gonna pick them up. CAROL: Listen, we both know you're gonna do it 'cause you're not a jerk. Okay? So you can either sulk here for a half hour and then go pick them up, or save us both time and sulk in the car. CAROL: Look, I-I-I am sorry that Rachel dumped you 'cause she fell in love with that Mark guy, and you are the innocent victim in all of this, but don't punish your friends for what Rachel did to you. ROSS: Yeah, you're right. CAROL: Phoebe hang on a second Ross wants to say something. What? You slept with someone else?! ROSS: We were on a break!!! Okay!!! We were, we were... yeah. Where are you? I'll find you. CAROL: You slept with another woman? ROSS: Oh, you-you're-you're one to talk. JOEY: Okay, done. MONICA: What's 'pleh'? JOEY: That's 'help' spelled backwards so that the helicopters can read it from the air! MONICA: Huh. What's doofus spelled backwards? PHOEBE: You guys, what, what do we do about Ross who drove all the way up here? What do we do? Just like send him back and we're then gonna go skiing? CHANDLER: Oh, this is horrible, it's just horrible. JOEY: Guys, do you think we should ask Ross to come along? MONICA: I know, what about Rachel? I mean how are we even gonna ask her? RACHEL: Ask me what? MONICA: Umm, if ah, it might be okay if Ross came skiing? CHANDLER, PHOEBE, and JOEY: No, I wasn't gonna ask you that, no. RACHEL: You guys are unbelievable. No! He cannot come. ROSS: Excuse me? CHANDLER: It's horrible. ROSS: Oh please, can't I come to your special, magical cabin? RACHEL: Why would you even want to come Ross? You're a horrible skier. ROSS: Oh-oh, hitting me where it hurts, my ski skills. MONICA: Here we go again. JOEY: I-I can't handle this, you guys. CHANDLER: Y'know what, I can handle it, handle's my middle name. Actually it's the ah, middle part of my first name.
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transcribed by Eric B Aasen
52007
