The One Where They're Gonna Party! (409)

written by Andrew Reich & Ted Cohen

Season 1
Where Monica Gets A New Roomate
With The Sonogram At The End
With The Thumb
With George Stephanoloulos
With The East German Laundry Detergent
With The Butt
With The Blackout
Where Nana Dies Twice
Where Underdog Gets Away
With The Monkey
With Mrs.Bing
With The Dozen Lasagnes
With The Boobies
With The Candy Hearts
With The Stoned Guy
With Two Parts, Part 1
With Two Parts, Part 2
With All The Poker
Where The Monkey Gets Away
With The Evil Orthodontist
With The Fake Monica
With The Ick Factor
With The Birth
Where Rachel Finds Out

Season 2
With Ross' New Girlfriend
With The Breast Milk
Where Heckles Dies
With Phoebe's Husband
With Five Steaks And An Eggplant
With The Baby On The Bus
Where Ross Finds Out
With The List
With Phoebe's Dad
With Russ
With The Lesbian Wedding
After The Superbowl, Part 1
After The Superbowl, Part 2
With The Prom Video
Where Ross And Rachel... You Know
Where Joey Moves Out
Where Eddie Moves In
Where Dr.Remore Dies
Where Eddie Won't Go
Where Old Yeller Dies
With The Two Bullies
With The Two Parties
With The Chickenpox
With Barry And Mindy's Wedding

Season 3
With The Princess Leia Fantasy
Where No-One's Ready
With The Jam
With The Metaphorical Tunnel
With Frank Jnr
With The Flashback
With The Race Car Bed
With The Giant Poking Device
With The Football
Where Rachel Quits
Where Chandler Can`t Remember Which Sister
With All The Jealousy
Where Monica And Richard Are Friends
With Phoebe's Ex-Partner
Where Ross And Rachel Take A Break
With The Morning After
With The Ski Trip
With The Hypnosis Tape
With The Tiny T-Shirt
With The Dollhouse
With The Chick and the Duck
With The Screamer
With Ross's Thing
With The Ultimate Fighting Champion
At The Beach

Season 4
With The Jellyfish
With The Cat
With The 'Cuffs
With The Ballroom Dancing
With Joey's New Girlfriend
With The Dirty Girl
Where Chandler Crosses The Line
With Chandler In A Box
Where They're Gonna Party!
With The Girl From Poughkeepsie
With Phoebe's Uterus
With The Embryos
With Rachel's Crush
With Joey's Dirty Day
With All The Rugby
With The Fake Party
With The Free Porn
With Rachel's New Dress
With All The Haste
With All The Wedding Dresses
With The Invitation
With The Worst Best Man Ever
With Ross`s Wedding Part I and II

Season 5
After Ross Said Rachel
With All The Kissing
Where Phoebe Hates PBS
With All The Kips
With The Yeti
Where Ross Moves In
With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks
With Ross's Sandwich
With The Inappropriate Sister
With All The Resolutions
With Chandler's Work Laugh
With Joey's Bag
Where Everyone Finds Out
With The Girl Who Hits Joey
With A Cop
With Rachel's Inadvertant Kiss
Where Rachel Smokes
Where Ross Can't Flirt
With The Ride Along
With The Ball
With Joey's Big Break
In Vegas (Season Finale/Hour Long Episode)

Season 6
After Vegas
Where Ross Hugs Rachel
With Ross's Denial
Where Joey Loses His Insurance
With Joey's Porsche
With The Last Night
Where Phoebe Runs
With Ross's Teeth
Where Ross Got High
With The Routine
With The Apothecary Table
With The Joke
With Rachels Sister
Where Chandler Can't Cry
That Could Have Been (Parts 1 & 2)
With The Unagi
Where Ross Dates A Student
With Joey's Fridge
With Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.
Where Ross Meets Elizabeth's Dad
Where Paul's The Man
With The Ring
With The Proposal(Season Finale)

With Monica\'s Thunder
With Rachel's Book
With Phoebe's Cookies
With Rachel's Assistant
With The Engagement Picture
With The Nap Partners
With Ross's Library Book
Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs
With All The Candy
With The Holiday Armadilio
With All The Cheesecakes
Where They're Up All Night
Where Rosita Dies
Where They All Turn Thirty
With Joey's New Brain
With The Truth About London
With The Cheap Wedding Dress
With Joey's Award
With Ross and Monica's Cousin
With Rachel's Big Kiss
With The Vows
With Chandler's Dad

Season 8
After 'I Do'
With The Red Sweater
Where Rachel Tells...
With The Videotape
With Rachel's Date
With The Halloween Party
JOEY: Really. And what do you mean you never have fun anymore? You have fun with me, remember that time we saw those strippers and you paid me 50 bucks to eat that book?

ROSS: Joey, you are gonna love this guy. Gandalf is like the party wizard!

JOEY: Well, why do you call him Gandalf?

ROSS: Gandalf the wizard. Hello! Didn't you read Lord of the Rings in high school?

JOEY: No, I had sex in high school.

CHANDLER: Oh man! I am so excited, I may vomit!

JOEY: Will you calm down, he's just a human guy.

CHANDLER: Look you don't understand, Gandalf is amazing. Y'know you're never know what's gonna end up happening, you go out for a couple of beers and end up on a fishing boat to Nova Scotia!

MONICA: Hey! My first review is out!

PHOEBE: Ohh! Oh, the Chelsea Reporter, ohh, this used to keep me so warm.

MONICA: All right, look at my on the back page.

PHOEBE: Oh, okay! "Would I go back to Allesandro's? Sure, but I'd have to order two meals, one for me and one for the guy pointing the gun to my head." Wow! You really laid into this place.

ALLESANDRO: I want a retraction! Our food is not inedible swill!

MONICA: I couldn't eat it! I had five friends who couldn't eat it, and one of them eats books.

ALLESANDRO: Well our service is not grossly incompetent.

MONICA: The waiter carried the breadsticks in his pants!

ALLESANDRO: Well, you said that we except the Discover Card, which we do not!

MONICA: All right, that I'll retract. But I stand by my review, I know food and that wasn't it. You're marinara sauce tasted like tomato juice! You should serve it with vodka and a piece of celery.

ALLESANDRO: Hey! I'm proud of that sauce, it's delicious.

MONICA: Oh my God! You own an Italian restaurant and you think that tastes good?! Where are you even from?


MONICA: Hand me those tomatoes, I'm gonna show you what it should taste like! Come on, hand me them.

ALLESANDRO: How long is this gonna take? 'Cause I got another critic to go yell at.

RACHEL: Umm, Joanna? I wanna talk about that interview.

JOANNA: I thought it went very well.

RACHEL: No! It didn't! That's what I want to talk to you about. Now, just to brief you, may cry, but they are not tears of sadness or of anger, but just of me having this discussion with you.

JOANNA: Rachel, please, don't make a scene.

RACHEL: There's nobody here!

JOANNA: Sophie, get in here! You see! Now you're making Sophie uncomfortable!

SOPHIE: She's not making me uncomfortable.

JOANNA: Congratulations! You now just crossed the line into completely useless. Get out.

RACHEL: Oh my God!!! Ohh, that is it! I'm leaving! You are just a horrible person!

JOANNA: Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait!! If you're gonna get all sensitive about it! I don't want to lose you. What if I, create a position for you? I'll make you an assistant buyer in this department.

RACHEL: Say more things like that.

JOANNA: You can have your own office, and a raise! Effective tomorrow.

RACHEL: I'd need an expense account.


RACHEL: And an assistant.

JOANNA: Sophie, get in here!

JOEY: Hey! What are you guys doing here? I thought you'd be out partying with Gandel-worf.

ROSS: It's Gandalf, and he's not coming.

JOEY: So you've been sittin' around here all mornin'?

ROSS: No! I balanced my checkbook.

CHANDLER: Yeah, and I-I gave first names to all of the foosball players.

ROSS: I can't believe he didn't come!

JOEY: So what if he didn't come! We can still go out and party ourselves!

CHANDLER: Oh-no, y'know with Gandolf we'd be out all night!

ROSS: Yeah! We'd meet, we'd meet total strangers, and hang out with them!

JOEY: Well, we could do that!

ROSS: There's other stuff too.

JOEY: We'll do it all, and better! Look, after tonight, Gandolf will want to party with us, dude! Come on!

ROSS: Yeah!

JOEY: Yeah!

ROSS: Yeah!!

JOEY: Yeah!!

ROSS: It's not like we don't know how to party!!

JOEY: Yeah! All right? Let's go!

CHANDLER: And may-maybe we could end up on a boat again?

JOEY and ROSS: Yeah!!!

CHANDLER: All right!!

ROSS: Hey-hey-hey, when uh, when were we on a boat?

CHANDLER: Remember that really cold morning, you woke up and those dogs were licking your face?

ROSS: Yeah.

CHANDLER: Well, those were seals, man.

MONICA: Ohh! Umm, Phoebe, I kinda need to talk to you about that. Umm, well I-I-I think it might be time for me to take a step back from catering.

PHOEBE: But we've only had one job.

MONICA: I know, but now we have this second one and it just, it feels like it's snowballing, y'know?

PHOEBE: Yeah! What are you saying?

MONICA: I got offered the head chef job at Allesandro's.


MONICA: It's okay, 'cause y'know what? You don't really need me for the business.

PHOEBE: You're the cook! With out you it's just me driving up to people's houses with empty trays and asking for money!

JOEY: All right, so we'll get a little coffee, and get energized, and we'll head back out.

CHANDLER: Yeah, all right.

ROSS: Okay.

JOEY: So, we're having fun, right?


JOEY: We don't need that wizard guy. We hit a couple of clubs, talked to some strangers, and uh, after this, we'll head down to the docks and see about that boat thing.

ROSS: I'm kinda beat.

CHANDLER: Actually, me too.

JOEY: Are you serious?!


JOEY: Thank God! I'm exhausted!

GUNTHER: So you guys want coffees?

JOEY: Yeah, but uh, I don't want to be up too late, so uh, I'll have a decaf.

ROSS: Yeah, me too.

CHANDLER: Actually, can I get some hot water with a little lemon? I think I strained my voice screaming in there. Does it have to be so loud?

JOEY: I can't hear a word you're saying, my ears are ringing so bad.

ROSS: I'm just glad I brought that extra pair of socks, y'know? I used them as mittens, I didn't want to touch a thing in that last place. How sad are we?

JOEY: Yeah, I know.

CHANDLER: Y'know what? We're not sad, we're not sad, we're just not 21 anymore. Y'know? I'm 29 years old, damnit! And I want to sit in a comfortable chair, and watch television and go to bed at a reasonable hour!

JOEY and ROSS: Yeah!

JOEY: Yeah! And I like to hang out in a quiet place where I can talk to my friends.


ROSS: Yeah!

ROSS: And so what if I like to go home, throw on some Kenny G, and take a bath!

JOEY: We're 29, we're not women.

transcribed by Eric Aasen