The One Where Ross Finds Out (207)
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Season 1 Where Monica Gets A New Roomate With The Sonogram At The End With The Thumb With George Stephanoloulos With The East German Laundry Detergent With The Butt With The Blackout Where Nana Dies Twice Where Underdog Gets Away With The Monkey With Mrs.Bing With The Dozen Lasagnes With The Boobies With The Candy Hearts With The Stoned Guy With Two Parts, Part 1 With Two Parts, Part 2 With All The Poker Where The Monkey Gets Away With The Evil Orthodontist With The Fake Monica With The Ick Factor With The Birth Where Rachel Finds Out Season 2 With Ross' New Girlfriend With The Breast Milk Where Heckles Dies With Phoebe's Husband With Five Steaks And An Eggplant With The Baby On The Bus Where Ross Finds Out With The List With Phoebe's Dad With Russ With The Lesbian Wedding After The Superbowl, Part 1 After The Superbowl, Part 2 With The Prom Video Where Ross And Rachel... You Know Where Joey Moves Out Where Eddie Moves In Where Dr.Remore Dies Where Eddie Won't Go Where Old Yeller Dies With The Two Bullies With The Two Parties With The Chickenpox With Barry And Mindy's Wedding Season 3 With The Princess Leia Fantasy Where No-One's Ready With The Jam With The Metaphorical Tunnel With Frank Jnr With The Flashback With The Race Car Bed With The Giant Poking Device With The Football Where Rachel Quits Where Chandler Can`t Remember Which Sister With All The Jealousy Where Monica And Richard Are Friends With Phoebe's Ex-Partner Where Ross And Rachel Take A Break With The Morning After With The Ski Trip With The Hypnosis Tape With The Tiny T-Shirt With The Dollhouse With The Chick and the Duck With The Screamer With Ross's Thing With The Ultimate Fighting Champion At The Beach Season 4 With The Jellyfish With The Cat With The 'Cuffs With The Ballroom Dancing With Joey's New Girlfriend With The Dirty Girl Where Chandler Crosses The Line With Chandler In A Box Where They're Gonna Party! With The Girl From Poughkeepsie With Phoebe's Uterus With The Embryos With Rachel's Crush With Joey's Dirty Day With All The Rugby With The Fake Party With The Free Porn With Rachel's New Dress With All The Haste With All The Wedding Dresses With The Invitation With The Worst Best Man Ever With Ross`s Wedding Part I and II Season 5 After Ross Said Rachel With All The Kissing Hundredth Where Phoebe Hates PBS With All The Kips With The Yeti Where Ross Moves In With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks With Ross's Sandwich With The Inappropriate Sister With All The Resolutions With Chandler's Work Laugh With Joey's Bag Where Everyone Finds Out With The Girl Who Hits Joey With A Cop With Rachel's Inadvertant Kiss Where Rachel Smokes Where Ross Can't Flirt With The Ride Along With The Ball With Joey's Big Break In Vegas (Season Finale/Hour Long Episode) Season 6 After Vegas Where Ross Hugs Rachel With Ross's Denial Where Joey Loses His Insurance With Joey's Porsche With The Last Night Where Phoebe Runs With Ross's Teeth Where Ross Got High With The Routine With The Apothecary Table With The Joke With Rachels Sister Where Chandler Can't Cry That Could Have Been (Parts 1 & 2) With The Unagi Where Ross Dates A Student With Joey's Fridge With Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. Where Ross Meets Elizabeth's Dad Where Paul's The Man With The Ring With The Proposal(Season Finale) With Monica\'s Thunder With Rachel's Book With Phoebe's Cookies With Rachel's Assistant With The Engagement Picture With The Nap Partners With Ross's Library Book Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs With All The Candy With The Holiday Armadilio With All The Cheesecakes Where They're Up All Night Where Rosita Dies Where They All Turn Thirty With Joey's New Brain With The Truth About London With The Cheap Wedding Dress With Joey's Award With Ross and Monica's Cousin With Rachel's Big Kiss With The Vows With Chandler's Dad Season 8 After 'I Do' With The Red Sweater Where Rachel Tells... With The Videotape With Rachel's Date With The Halloween Party |
CHANDLER: OK, what is it about me? Do I not look fun enough? Is there something... repellant... about me? RACHEL: So, how was the party. CHANDLER: Well it couldn't have been worse, a woman literally passed through me. OK, so what is it, am I hideously unattractive. PHOEBE: No, you are not, you are very attractive. You know what, I go through the exact same thing. Every time I put on a little weight, I start questioning everyting. CHANDLER: Woah, woah, I've put on a little wieght? PHOEBE: No, not wieght, ya know, more like insulation. MONICA: Chandler, I'm unemployed and in dire need of a project. Ya wanna work out? I can remake you. CHANDLER: Oh, you know, I would but that might get in the way of my lying around time. MONICA: Please. ALL: C'mon. Let her. Yeah. CHANDLER: Alright, OK, alright. But if we put on spandex and my boobs are bigger than yours, I'm goin, home. PHOEBE: Your boobs are fine. Look, I never should have said anything. Come here. Come here. Oh, can't make hands meet. MONICA: C'mon give me five more. Five more. CHANDLER: No. MONICA: Five more and I'll flash you. CHANDLER: One... Two... Two and a half. OK, just show me one of them. JOEY: Maybe he, uhh, drives his car on the other side of the road, if ya know what I mean. PHOEBE: No, whad'ya mean. He's not British. JOEY: Maybe he's... gay. PHOEBE: Oohh, um, no I don't think that's the problem. 'Cause we went, um, dancing the other night and the way he held me so close and the way he was looking into my eyes I just like, definitely felt something. RACHEL: Yeah, but how much can you tell from a look? PHOEBE: No, I felt it on my hip, you could tell. JOEY: Woah, woah, woah, you have a date? RACHEL: Yeah, Monica's settin' me up. JOEY: But uh, uh, what about uh, Ross and uh... RACHEL: Oh what, my whole insane jealousy thing? Well, ya know, as much fun as that was, I've decided to opt for sanity. CHANDLER: So you really OK about all this? RACHEL: Oh yeah, c'mon, I'm movin' on, he can press her up against that window as much as he wants. For all I care, he can throw her through the damn thing. JOEY: You're getting a cat? ROSS: Uh, actually, we're getting a cat. RACHEL: Together? ROSS: Uh huh. RACHEL: Both of you? ROSS: Yep. RACHEL: Together. JULIE: Yeah we figure it'll live with Ross half the time and with me half the time. RACHEL: Ohh, well, isn't that just lovely. That's something the two of you will be able to enjoy for a really, really, really, really, really long time. MICHAEL: I don't know if Monica told you but this is the first date I've gone on since my divorce so, if I seem a little nervous, I am. RACHEL: How long do cats live? MICHAEL: I'm sorry? RACHEL: Cats, how long do they live figuring you don't, you know, throw 'em under a bus or something? MICHAEL: Um, maybe 15, 16 years. RACHEL: That's just great. MICHAEL: Monica told you I was cuter than this, didn't she? RACHEL: Oh, no, Michael, it's not you. I'm sorry, it's just, it's this thing. It's probably not as bad as it sounds but this friend of mine is, is getting a cat with his girlfriend. MICHAEL: Oh, that does sound... Ahh. RACHEL: I mean he just started going out with her. MICHAEL: Is this guy, uhh, an old boyfriend? RACHEL: Ah, hah-hah-hah-ho, yeah, he wishes. Oh, I'm sorry, look at me. OK, Michael, let's talk about you. MICHAEL: Alright. RACHEL: OK, OK. So, you ever get a pet with a girlfriend? PHOEBE: So, I figured it out. JOEY: What? PHOEBE: Why Scott doesn't want to sleep with me. It's 'cause I'm not sexy enough. JOEY: Phoebe, that's crazy. When I first met you, you know what I said to Chandler? I said, "Excellent butt, great rack." PHOEBE: Really? That's so sweet. I mean, I'm officially offended but, sweet. RACHEL: I mean, it's a cat, ya know, it's a cat. Why can't they get one of those bugs, ya know, one of those fruitflys, those things that live for like a day or something? What're they called, what're they called, what're they called? MICHAEL: Fruitflys? RACHEL: Yes! Thank you. CHANDLER: No, no, no, no, no, no. No. Monica, it's Sunday morning. I'm not running on a Sunday. MONICA: Why not? CHANDLER: Because it's Sunday, it's God's day. ROSS: Rach, I got a message from you. Who's Michael? RACHEL: Oh my God. Oh my God Ross, no, hang up the phone, give me the phone Ross, give me the phone, give me the phone, give me the... ROSS: You're over me? RACHEL: Ohh God. ROSS: Wha, you're uh, you're, you're over me? RACHEL: Ohh, ohh. ROSS: When, when were you, under me? Rach. Rachel do you, I mean, were you uh... What? PHOEBE: Hey Joey. JOEY: Hey Phoebs. PHOEBE: How come your watching a rabbi play electric guitar? JOEY: I can't find the remote. RACHEL: Hi. ROSS: I didn't get a cat. RACHEL: Oh, that's um, interesting. ROSS: No, no it's not interesting. OK, it's very, very not interesting. In fact it's actually 100 percent completely opposite of interesting. RACHEL: Alright, I got it Ross. ROSS: You had no right to tell me you ever had feelings for me. RACHEL: What? ROSS: I was doing great with Julie before I found out about you. RACHEL: Hey, I was doin' great before I found out about you. You think it's easy for me to see you with Julie? ROSS: Then you should have said something before I met her. RACHEL: I didn't know then. And how come you never said anything to me. ROSS: There was never a good time. RACHEL: Right, you, you only had a year. We only hung out every night. ROSS: Not, not, not every night. You know, and, and it's not like I didn't try Rachel but things got in the way, ya know, like, like Italian guys or ex-fiances or, or, or Italian guys. RACHEL: Hey, there was one Italian guy, OK, and do you even have a point? ROSS: The point is I, I don't need this right now, OK. It, it's too late, I'm with somebody else, I'm happy. This ship has sailed. RACHEL: Yeah, what're you saying, you just sort of put away feelings or whatever the hell it was you felt for me? ROSS: Hey, I've been doin' it since the ninth grade, I've gotten pretty damn good at it.
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transcribed by Josh Hodge
52007
