The One Where The Monkey Gets Away (119)
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Season 1 Where Monica Gets A New Roomate With The Sonogram At The End With The Thumb With George Stephanoloulos With The East German Laundry Detergent With The Butt With The Blackout Where Nana Dies Twice Where Underdog Gets Away With The Monkey With Mrs.Bing With The Dozen Lasagnes With The Boobies With The Candy Hearts With The Stoned Guy With Two Parts, Part 1 With Two Parts, Part 2 With All The Poker Where The Monkey Gets Away With The Evil Orthodontist With The Fake Monica With The Ick Factor With The Birth Where Rachel Finds Out Season 2 With Ross' New Girlfriend With The Breast Milk Where Heckles Dies With Phoebe's Husband With Five Steaks And An Eggplant With The Baby On The Bus Where Ross Finds Out With The List With Phoebe's Dad With Russ With The Lesbian Wedding After The Superbowl, Part 1 After The Superbowl, Part 2 With The Prom Video Where Ross And Rachel... You Know Where Joey Moves Out Where Eddie Moves In Where Dr.Remore Dies Where Eddie Won't Go Where Old Yeller Dies With The Two Bullies With The Two Parties With The Chickenpox With Barry And Mindy's Wedding Season 3 With The Princess Leia Fantasy Where No-One's Ready With The Jam With The Metaphorical Tunnel With Frank Jnr With The Flashback With The Race Car Bed With The Giant Poking Device With The Football Where Rachel Quits Where Chandler Can`t Remember Which Sister With All The Jealousy Where Monica And Richard Are Friends With Phoebe's Ex-Partner Where Ross And Rachel Take A Break With The Morning After With The Ski Trip With The Hypnosis Tape With The Tiny T-Shirt With The Dollhouse With The Chick and the Duck With The Screamer With Ross's Thing With The Ultimate Fighting Champion At The Beach Season 4 With The Jellyfish With The Cat With The 'Cuffs With The Ballroom Dancing With Joey's New Girlfriend With The Dirty Girl Where Chandler Crosses The Line With Chandler In A Box Where They're Gonna Party! With The Girl From Poughkeepsie With Phoebe's Uterus With The Embryos With Rachel's Crush With Joey's Dirty Day With All The Rugby With The Fake Party With The Free Porn With Rachel's New Dress With All The Haste With All The Wedding Dresses With The Invitation With The Worst Best Man Ever With Ross`s Wedding Part I and II Season 5 After Ross Said Rachel With All The Kissing Hundredth Where Phoebe Hates PBS With All The Kips With The Yeti Where Ross Moves In With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks With Ross's Sandwich With The Inappropriate Sister With All The Resolutions With Chandler's Work Laugh With Joey's Bag Where Everyone Finds Out With The Girl Who Hits Joey With A Cop With Rachel's Inadvertant Kiss Where Rachel Smokes Where Ross Can't Flirt With The Ride Along With The Ball With Joey's Big Break In Vegas (Season Finale/Hour Long Episode) Season 6 After Vegas Where Ross Hugs Rachel With Ross's Denial Where Joey Loses His Insurance With Joey's Porsche With The Last Night Where Phoebe Runs With Ross's Teeth Where Ross Got High With The Routine With The Apothecary Table With The Joke With Rachels Sister Where Chandler Can't Cry That Could Have Been (Parts 1 & 2) With The Unagi Where Ross Dates A Student With Joey's Fridge With Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. Where Ross Meets Elizabeth's Dad Where Paul's The Man With The Ring With The Proposal(Season Finale) With Monica\'s Thunder With Rachel's Book With Phoebe's Cookies With Rachel's Assistant With The Engagement Picture With The Nap Partners With Ross's Library Book Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs With All The Candy With The Holiday Armadilio With All The Cheesecakes Where They're Up All Night Where Rosita Dies Where They All Turn Thirty With Joey's New Brain With The Truth About London With The Cheap Wedding Dress With Joey's Award With Ross and Monica's Cousin With Rachel's Big Kiss With The Vows With Chandler's Dad Season 8 After 'I Do' With The Red Sweater Where Rachel Tells... With The Videotape With Rachel's Date With The Halloween Party |
RACHEL: OK, OK, I checked, we have Earl Grey, English Breakfast, Cinnamon Stick, Camomile, Mint Medley, Blackberry, and er, oh wait, there was one more, erm, Lemon Soother! CUSTOMER: [blank] RACHEL: You're not the guy who asked for the tea, are you? ... OK. ROSS: Marcel, bring me the rice! Come on! Bring me the rice! Come on! Good boy! Good boy! Come on, give me the rice!... Thank you. Good boy! Ah I see he's finally mastered the difference between "bring me the" and "pee in the". ROSS: Whoa. What, er, what happened to, er, "forget relationships", "I'm done with men", the whole, er, penis embargo? RACHEL: Oh. I don't know. I guess it's not about "no guys", it's about the "right guy" you know? ROSS: Mmm. RACHEL: I mean with Barry, it was, it was safe, and it was easy, but there was no heat. ROSS: Mmm. RACHEL: You know with Paulo, that all there was, was heat. I, I mean it was just this raw, animal, sexual... ROSS: Right, right. I, I got it. I was there. RACHEL: Ah. I mean, do you think you can ever have both? You know, someone who's, like, who's like your best friend, but then also can make your toes curl? ROSS: Yes, yes, yes. Yes! Yes! I do! I really do! Er, in fact, it's funny. Very often, someone who you wouldn't think could, could, curl your toes, might just be the one who, er, who... MONICA: Hi! ROSS: ...gets interrupted! Hi! RACHEL: Hey guys, how was the movie? PHOEBE: Oh, it was so good. MONICA: Wonderful. JOEY: Suckfest! CHANDLER: Total chick-flick! PHOEBE: I'm sorry it wasn't one of those movies with, like, you know, like guns and bombs and like buses going really fast. JOEY: Hey. I don't need violence to enjoy a movie, just so long as there's a little nudity. MONICA: There was nudity! JOEY: I meant female nudity! Alright, I don't need to see Lou Grant frolicking! MONICA and PHOEBE: Hugh! Hugh Grant! JOEY: Tonight, tonight? ROSS: Well, I think it's perfect, you know, it's just gonna be the two of us, she's spent all day taking care of my monkey... CHANDLER: I can't remember the last time I got a girl to take care of my monkey. ROSS: Anyway, you know, I figured after work, I'd go pick up a bottle of wine, go over there, and, er, try to woo her. CHANDLER: Hey. You know what you should do? You should take her back to the 1890's when that phrase was last used. JOEY: Alright, alright, alright, you're a monkey, you're loose in the city... Where do you go? CHANDLER: OK. It's his first time out, so he's probably gonna want to do some of the touristy things... I'll go to Cats, you go to the Russian tea-room. MONICA: OK. We'll start with the building. You guys take the first and second floor, Phoebe and I will take third and fourth. RACHEL: Wha, wha, wh, what am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? MONICA: OK. You stay here. You just wait by the phone. Spray Lysol in my shoe, and wait for Ross to kill you. HECKLES: What do you want? MONICA: Mr. Heckles. Our, our friend's lost a monkey. Have you seen it? HECKLES: I left a Belgian waffle out here. Did you take it? MONICA: No! PHOEBE: Why would you leave your Belgian waffle in the hall? HECKLES: I wasn't ready for it. MONICA: The monkey? Have you seen a monkey? HECKLES: Saw Regis Philbin once... PHOEBE: OK. Thank you Mr. Heckles HECKLES: You owe me a waffle.
ROSS: I, I, I can't, I can't believe this. I mean, all I asked you to do was keep him in the apartment. RACHEL: I know, I know, I'm sorry... ROSS: No, no. You know what? I guess it's partially my fault, you know, I shouldn't have asked you to, er, start off with a monkey. I should have started you off with, like, a pen or a pencil. ROSS: You've called Animal Control? RACHEL: Uh-huh. Why? Do you not like them? ROSS: Huh! Marcel is an illegal exotic animal. I'm not allowed to have him in the city. If they find him, they'll take him away from me... RACHEL: OK. Well, now, see, you never ever ever told us that... ROSS: That's right, cos I didn't expect you were gonna invite them to the apartment! RACHEL: Hi! Thanks for coming! ANIMAL CONTROL: Somebody called about a monkey? RACHEL: Oh. Oh yeah! You know what? That was a complete misunderstanding. ROSS: Yeah. We, we thought we had a monkey, but we didn't. RACHEL: It turned out it was a hat! ROSS: Cat! MONICA: Hi. We checked the third and fourth floor, no-one's seen Marcel. ANIMAL CONTROL: Marcel? ROSS: My uncle Marcel... PHOEBE: Oh, is that who the monkey's named after? ANIMAL CONTROL: OK. Are you aware that possession of an illegal exotic is, er, punishable by up to two years in prison and confiscation of the animal? PHOEBE: Oh my god. You'd put that poor little creature in jail? MONICA: Look. I'm sure there's some friendly way to reconcile this. Erm, have a seat. First of all, we haven't been introduced. I, I'm Monica Geller... ANIMAL CONTROL: Oh my god, you are! And you're Rachel Green! RACHEL: Yeah! ANIMAL CONTROL: Louisa Jeanette. Lincoln High? I sat behind you guys in, in homeroom! RACHEL: Louisa? Oh my god! Monica! It's Louisa! MONICA: Louisa! From homeroom! RACHEL: Yes! LOUISA: You have no idea who I am, do you? RACHEL: No. MONICA: Not at all. CHANDLER: Oh, no, wait, wait, no, wait, wait. Erm, we may not know anything about radiators, per se, but we do have a certain amount of expertise in the heating and cooling milieu... JOEY: Er, aren't we kind of in the middle of something here? CHANDLER: Yes, but these women are very hot, and they need our help... And they're very hot! JOEY: We can't, alright? Huh, we're sorry. You have no idea how sorry, but we promised we'd find this monkey. If you see him, he's about yay high, and answers to the name Marcel, so, if we could get some pictures of you, you'd really be helping us out! CHANDLER: OK. From now on, you don't get to talk to other people. PHOEBE: Oh my god! Something just brushed up against my right leg! MONICA: What is it? PHOEBE: Oh, oh. It's OK! It was just my left leg. RACHEL: Ross, you know, I've said I'm sorry, like, a million times. What do you want me to do? Huh? What do you want, you want me to break my foot too? Is that it? OK, here, I'm gonna break my foot, right now, there... Ow! Oh god, oh my god! There, are you happy now? ROSS: Yeah. Yeah. You know, now that you kicked the sign, hey, I don't miss Marcel any more! PHOEBE: Oh. This is so intense. One side of my butt is totally asleep, and the other side has no idea! ROSS: Hi! Did you order some bananas? HECKLES: What about it? ROSS: Give me my monkey back! HECKLES: I don't have a monkey. RACHEL: Then what's with all the bananas? HECKLES: Potassium.
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transcribed by Stephen Clemson
52007
